Sunday, May 30, 2004

Nobody there

The phone rang this evening, so I picked it up. I said hello, but there was just some background noise. Then there were some clicks, and the background noise became some other kind of background noise. Then, after a half minute or so, it hung up. I assume this is some telemarketer using some phone spamming machine that got confused. Perhaps it thought I was a voice mail machine.

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Paycenter or something selling windows

The telemarketer asked a bunch of questions about me and my house. Then he said a factory representative was being sent to my house tomorrow. Since he never asked me if I was interested nor gave me any options, I finally said I wasn't interested when he said that. He then said more stuff. Then he said again that a factory representative was being sent to my house tomorrow. I said I wasn't interested again. He said if after hearing from the factory representative, I was still not interested, I could just tell him. I said that I'm saying now that I'm not interested. I heard him say "riiiight" under his breath or something as he hung up. I don't know if the factory representative will be coming to my house tomorrow. I'll probably never know.

This was another call that, when I picked up the phone, there was nobody there for a few seconds. So I knew it was a telemarketer. Because of that pause, I've decided, whenever talking to telemarketers, to not speak unless the telemarketer has said something for me to respond to, and has shut up for at least two or three seconds. Some telemarketers never shut up for that long, so they hang up before I ever say anything to them. I think that since I waited two or three seconds before saying anything, today's telemarketer asked if I understood English. I said yes after waiting three seconds.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

The local paper calls me at home

They called me at work yesterday morning. This evening, they called me at home. They have some sort of promotion. When the woman asked what my name was, I said I wasn't interested. She hung up.

She also asked, "Are you in a house or an apartment?" Since she is a telemarketer, I answered yes. She then got me to clarify. However, some other telemarketers, when I answer yes to an "are you A or B" question, hang up immediately.

Called by another recording

The phone rang today. I picked it up, and a recording told me to call some 714 number. It was some mortgage company. I didn't pay enough attention to remember more. This one didn't offer any immediate way to be removed from their call list or to talk to someone, unlike some of the other recorded telemarketers.

Presumably, if I want to be removed from their list, I'd have to make that long distance call to Orange County, California. Would they accept collect calls? I won't get to know, since I don't remember the phone number.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

The local paper

The local paper called me at work today. They've called me at home many times. I declined their subscription offer yet again.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Chinese telemarketers

Since I have a Chinese name, I've been getting telemarketers calling me and speaking Chinese for the last fourteen years or so. Mostly they are phone companies, because they say AT&T or MCI in the middle of the Chinese. Since I do not speak Chinese, I've recently decided to simply say nothing. They usually are pretty quick to hang up.

There was also this other man. I assume he is a white man. He was trying to solicit donations for something or another. He had my name. After I said no thank you to his multiple attempts at cajoling and guilt-tripping, he said, "[my name], this is America. And in America, we help each other." I said no thank you again. But thinking back now, maybe I should have put on a phony-baloney Asian immigrant accent and said something like "Oh! Dees Amelica. You teremarkta. An Amelican ar wan keer teremarkta." He eventually gave up and hung up. I think I said no thank you more than a half dozen times.

Some kind of coverage or something

I wasn't really paying attention to what he was selling. He started off saying his name and that he was calling from American Express. He had my name and address and asked me if his records had what he said they had. I said I'd take his word for it. Then he wanted to know my birthday. For some reason, he needed my birthday so that he could send me something. I said I wasn't interested. He spewed one more pitch for whatever he was trying to sell, and then he left the line open without saying anything more. I didn't say anything either. He hung up 20 seconds later. The telemarketing phone system didn't hang up until 20 seconds after that.

I'm not canceling my American Express card at this time. But the thought of doing so has now crossed my mind. Come to think of it, I shred a bunch of junk mail from American Express as well. But I shred even more stupid mortgage refinance and home equity loan offers.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Refinance telemarketers

Since I owe a bunch of money on a home loan, telemarketers often call me to try to get me to refinance the loan. They often say something like, "Our records indicate that xxxx. Is that correct?" Since they are telemarketers, I'll just answer what they asked, instead of what they meant to ask. I'll say, "I'll take your word for it." (Since I do not know what is in their records.)

By the way, I am currently not interested in refinancing. Any interest rate that would make refinancing worthwhile to me these days would have be too good to be true.


Telemarketers call me several times every evening. Since I do not have or need a fancy phone with caller-id or any blocking features, I just answer them. Often, when I answer, I hear nothing but phone system noises and clicks. Sometimes, it eventually connects to a person. I do not say hello again when the person comes on the line, because I already said hello, and I know it is a telemarketer, for whom I have little sympathy. Other times, the phone system eventually hangs up. When it does connect to a person, for amusement, I've decided never to hang up. I do not say anything rude. I generally answer any of their questions honestly. However, I've always managed to get them to hang up on me.

Today, I've received 4-5 telemarketer calls that never connected to a person.

Then came the one that inspired me to start this blog. When I answered the phone, a recording for something that I didn't pay attention to started. At the end of the recording, it said to press 9 to speak to a person. So I pressed 9. After being on hold for a few minutes, I got connected to a man. I said, "Why should I pay attention to you?" The man said, "Are you retarded? Go back to watching television. Is someone holding a gun to your head? Look to your right. Look to your left. Look behind you. Is there someone with a gun?" When he was done being snippy, he hung up.

After that, I thought, this type of pointless anecdote is just the type of thing that can go on a blog. And my phone is next to my computer, which makes it very convenient.