Thursday, March 30, 2006

Mar 30: Answering machine spam: Recording of Michelle with "the financial department"

This recording has called Nov 4 and Mar 30. An almost identical recording of "Michelle" with "the mortgage department" called on on Oct 6, 19, Nov 7, 8, 11, twice on Nov 14, and Dec 8 and 20. An almost identical recording of "Jane" with "the financial department" has called Jan 11, 25, Feb 21, Mar 7 and Mar 24. A very similar recording of "Brittany" called on Dec 19. A very similar recording of "Jennifer" with "the financial department" called Dec 5.

There were also calls from "William Harrison" from "the financial department" on Sept 2, 6, 20, 21, 22, 29, Oct 12, 13, 25, 28, Nov 1, 10, and 14.

"Hi. This is Michelle with the financial department. Based on your current payment history, we have preapproved you for a new interest rate, as low at 1%. APR 5.68. Your confirmation number is 000000. To take advantage of the lowest rates in the state of California, with absolutely no points and no fees, press number the number one key now. Or press two to be removed from the marketing list."

Mar 30: Answering machine spam: Recording of Jimmy with LQS

This recording has called Mar 30.

"Hello. This is Jimmy with LQS and I wanted to let you know that we have a lender that wants to preapprove you for 1.25% 30 year loan for either some cash out, settle some holiday debt, or JUST lower your monthly payment by up to 46%. ReGARDless of past credit history. Not only THAT, we want to give YOU and one other person a FREE cruise voucher to one of over five destinations of your choice, JUST for closing your LOAN with us. Press nine now to speak with the next available representative to get YOUR FREE CRUISE voucher. Now. OR. Press one to leave a message with a better time to call you back. And if you happen to receive this in err, please press eight now to removed from our list. AGAIN, press nine NOW to speak with the next available representative to get YOUR FREE CRUISE now."

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Mar 28: Answering machine spam: "The bank calling"

This fraudulent recording has called Mar 14 and 28.

"Hi. This is the bank calling. About your home LOAN. We are CURrently offering our past AND current customers. Home loans that will save you THOUSANDS of dollars. Every year. That's right. THOUSANDS of dollars. A $300,000 home loan payment of only SSSSEVEN hunnert and fifty dollars per month. Eligibility IS limited. To save THOUSANDS of dollars EVERY year on your home loan, press nine now. To not be notified of future savings, press eight now."

"The bank calling"? What a fucking scam.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Mar 24: Answering machine spam: Recording of Scotty with "the mortgage group"

This recording has called Mar 24.

"Hey guys. This is Scotty with the... mortgage group. Um... just want to give you a call to let you know that your home in your area has been preapproved for that new 1% refinance program. Now. This is something that's only good for the next seven days. So, if you'd like some additional information about this program, go ahead and push one... Now. Uh, this 1% refinance program is something that you can use to take cash out of your property, pay off some bills, or just take a vacation. Once again, if you'd like some additional information about the 1% refinance program go ahead push one. Thank you."

Mar 24: Answering machine spam: Recording of Jane with "the financial department"

This recording has called Jan 11, 25, Feb 21, Mar 7 and Mar 24. An almost identical recording of "Michelle" with "the mortgage department" called on on Oct 6, 19, Nov 7, 8, 11, twice on Nov 14, and Dec 8 and 20, as well as on Nov 4 with "the financial department". A very similar recording of "Brittany" called on Dec 19. A very similar recording of "Jennifer" with "the financial department" called Dec 5.

There were also calls from "William Harrison" from "the financial department" on Sept 2, 6, 20, 21, 22, 29, Oct 12, 13, 25, 28, Nov 1, 10, and 14.

"Hi. This is Jane with the financial department. Based on your current payment history, we have preapproved you for a new interest rate, as low at 1%. APR 5.68. Your confirmation number is 000000. To take advantage of the lowest rates in the state of California, with absolutely no points and no fees, press number the 1 key now. Or press 2 to be removed from the marketing list."

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Mar 23: Answering machine spam: Recording of Michelle with mortgage services

This recording has called Mar 16 and Mar 23. An almost identical recording of Tim with mortgage services called Mar 13.

"Hi this is Michelle with mortgage services. I'm calling regarding your current mortgage. I want to let you know that I have a lender who wants to preapprove you at one and a half percent on a thirty year loan. Whether you're looking refinance or take cash out this loan would save you hundreds of dollars on your monthly house payment. So please press one NOW to speak to a loan specialist and start saving money NOW. Once again, press one NOW to speak to a loan specialist. Or press three to be removed from our marketing database. Thanks and have a nice day."

Mar 22: Answering machine spam: Recording of Mark at Dish Network

This recording has called Mar 22. Other Dish Network recordings have called Oct 25, Nov 3, Dec 21, Jan 27, and Mar 6.

"Hey everybody. This is Mark here at Dish Network. The reason we are contacting you today is because both cable and direct tv have raised their prices once again by $3 to $4 a month. Did you know that most people that switch from cable. Or direct tv over to dish save an average $15 to $30 a month. Press one now and we will not only hook you up with free installation, free equipment, and free activation for up to four tvs. But we will tell you how our prices are guaranteed not to go up. Until January of 2008. And that's not even the best part. Press one now and we can set you up with over 135 channels. For as low as $29.99 a month. Stop paying so much for your cable and direct tv. And switch to a much better solution. The dish solution. So press one to get set up. Or to get your free price quote."

Friday, March 17, 2006

Mar 17: Answering machine spam: Recording of anonymous woman saying goodbye

This recording has called Jan 29, Feb 1, and Mar 17.

"Goodbye."

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Mar 16: Answering machine spam: Recording of Michelle with mortgage services

This recording has called Mar 16. An almost identical recording of Tim with mortgage services called Mar 13.

"Hi this is Michelle with mortgage services. I'm calling regarding your current mortgage. I want to let you know that I have a lender who wants to preapprove you at one and a half percent on a thirty year loan. Whether you're looking refinance or take cash out this loan would save you hundreds of dollars on your monthly house payment. So please press one NOW to speak to a loan specialist and start saving money NOW. Once again, press one NOW to speak to a loan specialist. Or press three to be removed from our marketing database. Thanks and have a nice day."

Pretty much identical except for minor changes in wording:
"Hi there, this is Tim with mortgage services? I'm calling regarding your current mortgage? And I want to let you know that I have a lender who wants to approve you at 1.5% on a thirty year loan now whether you are looking refinance OR take cash out this loan would OBviously save you hundreds of dollars on your monthly house payment. So please press one NOW to speak to a loan specialist. Once again, please press one NOW to speak to a loan specialist. And start saving money NOW. If you would like to be removed from our marketing database, press three. Thanks and have a great day."

Obviously the same script, just different voices. What's the point of that? So that they can claim that someone removed from Tim's marketing database wasn't removed from Michelle's marketing database and vice versa?

Mar 15: Answering machine spam: Recording of anonymous COURTESY call

This recording has called Jan 11 and Mar 15. A similar recordings of John has called on Feb 7, 21, 24, Mar 3, and Mar 10. Another almost identical recording of John called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 14, 17, and 19. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10 and Mar 8.

"Hello. I hope I'm not intruding. This is a courtesy call for area homeowners only. We're using this unusual way to announce that Fanny-Mae has recently expanded their underwriting to allow more homeowners to qualify for low interest rate loans. With interest rates as low as they are, if you have good credit, slow credit, or even a bankruptcy, this may be for you, if you are a homeowner. You can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply lower your payment. This is for homeowners only. For more information on how to get this free report, please press the number one on your telephone now. Or if you wish to be put on our do not call list, you may press the number two. Again, press one to connect to a live operator, or two to be put on our do not call list. Please press one now to speak to a live operator."

Mar 15: Answering machine spam: Recording of Megan with ISI

This recording has called Mar 15.

"Hi. This is Megan with ISI. Uh this is in regards to the HOME LOAN you got a few years ago. I've reviewed your file and you've been preapproved for our ONE time conVERsion program. Which can draMAtically reDUCE your rate as well as allow you to pull up to $150,000 cash out. QUICKLY. And put it in your pocket for any reason at ALL. To find out more about your preapproval, please press ONE now and you'll be connected to one of our customer SERvice representatives. Please press ONE now. And congratulations on your preapproval. Please press ONE now."

Please press one three times right through your skull NOW.

Mar 15: Answering machine spam: Recording of Brittany with debt advisors

This recording has called Mar 15. This sounds very similar to the recording of Terry that called Mar 1. And this one sounds like a scam as well.

"Hi. This is Brittany calling with debt advisors. And this is the message that YOUR credit company does NOT want you to hear. You have been preapproved by a certified nonprofit agency. To consolidate your credit card debt. Down to as low as 1%. Please have your statements ready when you call. And we can get your rate lowered before the next BILLing cycle. Your confirmation number is 000000. So press the number one key now to speak with someone who can really HELP. Or press the number two key to be removed."

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Mar 14: Answering machine spam: "The bank calling"

This fraudulent recording has called Mar 14.

"Hi. This is the bank calling. About your home LOAN. We are CURrently offering our past AND current customers. Home loans that will save you THOUSANDS of dollars. Every year. That's right. THOUSANDS of dollars. A $300,000 home loan payment of only seven hunnert and fifty dollars per month. Eligibility IS limited. To save THOUSANDS of dollars EVERY year on your home loan, press nine now. To not be notified of future savings, press eight now."

He implies that I am a past or current customer of "the bank". I say he's lying, as he doesn't identify which bank.

I suppose eligibility IS limited. Limited to suckers who would fall for fraudulent telemarketing scams.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Mar 13: Answering machine spam: Recording of Tim with "mortgage services"

This recording has called Mar 13.

"Hi there, this is Tim with mortgage services? I'm calling regarding your current mortgage? And I want to let you know that I have a lender who wants to approve you at 1.5% on a thirty year loan now whether you are looking refinance OR take cash out this loan would OBviously save you hundreds of dollars on your monthly house payment. So please press one NOW to speak to a loan specialist. Once again, please press one NOW to speak to a loan specialist. And start saving money NOW. If you would like to be removed from our marketing database, press three. Thanks and have a great day."

Friday, March 10, 2006

Mar 10: Answering machine spam: Recording of John with "COURTESY" call from anonymous company

This recording has called on Feb 7, 21, 24, Mar 3, and Mar 10. An almost identical recording called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 14, 17, and 19. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10 and Mar 8. A similar anonymous recording called Jan 11.

"Hello. My name is JOHN and this is a COURTESY call to let you know that FANNY Mae has recently exPANDed their underwriting guidelines to allow MORE people to qualify for LOW interest rate home loans. With interest rates as low as they are, this means if you have good credit, LESS than perfect credit, or even a recent BANKRUPTCY, we can HELP. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free quote, please hang up now, or press three to be added to our do not call list. If you would LIKE a free rate quote, please press one to connect to a home loan specialist. Again, please press 1 for a no obligation rate quote."

It takes a bizarre notion of courtesy to repeatedly call and spew that recording.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Mar 9: Answering machine spam: Recording of Grant with "the mortgage group"

This recording has called Mar 9.

"Hey guy. This is Grant with the mortgage group. Uuhh. Just wanted to give you a call to let you know that your home AND your AREA has been approved for our new 1% refinance program. Now this something that is good for only the next seven days. So if you'd like some additional information on this program, go ahead and press one on your phone right NOW. This 1% refinance program is something you can use to pay off some bills, take cash out of your property, OR, just take a vacation. Once again, if you'd like aDDItional information about this program, simply press one on your telephone right now. Thank you and have a great day."

My "area" has been approved, has it? My "area" says fuck off for the next seven days. It's not like there aren't other recordings calling my phone about 1% refinance crap all the time.

Mar 9: Answering machine spam: Recording of Tommy Compuzano with HSM

This recording has called Mar 9.

"Hi. This is Tommy Compuzano with HSM. I'm calling you because uh we hope you put your loan in the past where you DID business with one of our affiliated companies. By the way, the number is 800-514-0653. And anyway, I'm calling because we're introducing to a brand new loan program, one's called the equity advantage loan? The bottom line is that no matter your credit score, 500, 400, or even lower, as long as you have equity in the home, we can still do it. Uh. This one's exclusive and only available through us, and the SECOND loan is called the bases loaded loan. This is pretty amazing. It works like those 1% loans you may have uh heard about except you don't have all the risk of your payment climbing every month. Um uh because your PAYment can be fixed for up to ten years, so every 100,000 borrowed would equal about 474 per month, so to find out uh yet exactly what your payments would be, call me at 800-514-0653, and whether or not we're able help you, we'll give your number system to a quarterly credit review program and in this day and age you just can't afford not to monitor, manage and improve your credit, so I'll look for"

So, just what are those "affiliated companies" that he's hoping I did business with? Does having my phone number in some telemarketer list mean I've "done business" what any company that has that list?

And why the abrupt cutoff at the end?

And it was difficult to understand what he was saying because the recording quality was horrible.

Mar 8: Answering machine spam: Recording of Shawn with anonymous mortgage company

This recording has called Mar 8. A very similar recording called Nov 10. Very similar recordings of John called on Feb 7, 21, 24, and Mar 3. Other very similar recordings of John called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 14, 17, and 19. A similar anonymous recording called Jan 11.

"Hello. My name is SHAWN and I'm calling to let YOU know that recently expanded MORTgage guidelines allow MORE people to qualify for LOW interest rate home loans. With interest rates their lowest in 40 years, this means if you have good credit, less than perfect credit, or even a recent bankruptcy, we CAN help. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free rate quote, PLEASE hang up now or press two to be added to our do not call list. If you would like a free rate quote, please press one for a simple, three step, no obligation comparison. Again, please press one for a no obligation quote."

Go screw yourself, Shawn-John. There are probably plenty of people who would not be unhappy if you were to choke on your own genitalia.

Mar 8: Answering machine spam: Recording of Karen with "reservations"

This recording has called Mar 8.

"Hi, this is KAREN with reservations. CongratuLATions. YOU have been inVITed to celebrate DISney's anniversary with a three day vacation stay in ANAheim, CaliFORnia near world FAmous DISneyland, plus three days and TWO nights in Las Vegas all for only $99 per person plus, for acting toDAY, you WILL receive TWO complimentary DISneyland PASSes. Congratulations. To confirm your reservation and speak with a representative, please press the nine key now if you wish to be removed from our list, press the EIGHT key."

She ran some sentances together, so that's how I transcribed it.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Mar 7: Answering machine spam: Andy with Save On Debt

This recording has called Mar 7.

"Hello. This is Andy with Save On Debt with great news. Fanny Mae has recently changed their underwriting guidlines to allow individuals with the less than perfect credit to qualify for rates as low as 2.6% on a five year fixed loan with an APR of only 6.2%. Best of all, we can close in as little as seven days. To speak with a mortgage loan specialist about this new offer, please press zero on your phone now."

I'm pretty sure he really did say "...with the less than perfect...".

He sounded Irish to me.

Mar 7: Answering machine spam: Recording of Jane with "the financial department"

This recording has called Jan 11, 25, Feb 21, and Mar 7. An almost identical recording of "Michelle" with "the mortgage department" called on on Oct 6, 19, Nov 7, 8, 11, twice on Nov 14, and Dec 8 and 20, as well as on Nov 4 with "the financial department". A very similar recording of "Brittany" called on Dec 19. A very similar recording of "Jennifer" with "the financial department" called Dec 5.

There were also calls from "William Harrison" from "the financial department" on Sept 2, 6, 20, 21, 22, 29, Oct 12, 13, 25, 28, Nov 1, 10, and 14.

"Hi. This is Jane with the financial department. Based on your current payment history, we have preapproved you for a new interest rate, as low at 1%. APR 5.68. Your confirmation number is 000000. To take advantage of the lowest rates in the state of California, with absolutely no points and no fees, press number the 1 key now. Or press 2 to be removed from the marketing list."

Mar 7: Recording of Rachel at cardholder services at work

The fraudulent recording of Rachel at "cardholder services" called Sep 15, Oct 4, Nov 16, Dec 19, Jan 3, Feb 1, Feb 7, twice on Mar 2, and at work on Dec 2, Dec 30, and Mar 7. The fraudulent sounding recording of Michael called Nov 18.

"Hello. This is Rachel at "cardholder services", calling in reference to your current credit card account. There are no problems currently with your account. It is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate to as little as 6.9%. Your eligibility expires shortly, so please consider this your final notice. Please press the number one on your phone now to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press the number three to discontinue further notices. Thank you. Have a great day."

That's the thirteenth "final" notice that's called my phone numbers.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Mar 6: Answering machine spam: Recording of anonymous stock bullshit: Goldstocks?

This recording called Mar 6. This might be another recording of "Jack with Goldstocks", which called Feb 8 and Jan 10. It would fit a monthly timetable.

"Hello. We have some very important news for stock investors. Please press one to hear this important message or simply hang up."

This type of thing sounds like a pump-and-dump scam.

Mar 6: Answering machine spam: Recording of Katie for Dish Network

This recording has called Mar 6. Other Dish Network recordings have called Oct 25, Nov 3, Dec 21, and Jan 27.

"Hi everybody. This is Katie. I'm SURE you've ALREADY heard that cable rates went up ONCE again on March first. But there IS a solution with Dish Network's CURRENT promotion. We'll give you FREE installation, FREE equipment, and free activation for up to FOUR TVs. One of our most POPULAR packages gives you satellite telej for TWO TVs. Includes DVR on BOTH TVs, and over 135 channels as well, for ONLY $40 a month. If you press ONE now, we can also tell you about packages we offer that go as low as $29.99 a month. Stop paying SO much for your cable, and switch to a much BETTER solution. The SATELLITE solution. Press one NOW."

I couldn't make any sense of what I transcribed as "satellite telej". That's the nearest approximation I could make of what I heard.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Mar 3: Answering machine spam: Recording of John with "COURTESY" call from anonymous company

This recording has called on Feb 7, 21, 24, and Mar 3. An almost identical recording called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 14, 17, and 19. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10. A similar anonymous recording called Jan 11.

"Hello. My name is John and this is a COURTESY call to let you know that FANNY Mae has recently EXPANDED their underwriting guidelines to allow MORE people to qualify for LOW interest rate home loans. With interest rates as low as they are, this means if you have good credit, LESS than perfect credit, or even a recent BANKRUPTCY, we can HELP. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free quote, please hang up now, or press 3 to be added to our do not call list. If you would LIKE a free rate quote, please press 1 to connect to a home loan specialist. Again, please press 1 for a no obligation rate quote."

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Mar 2: Answering machine spam: Recording of Rachel at cardholder services twice

This recording called twice today.

The fraudulent recording of Rachel at "cardholder services" called Sep 15, Oct 4, Nov 16, Dec 19, Jan 3, Feb 1, Feb 7, twice on Mar 2, and at work on Dec 2 and 30. The fraudulent sounding recording of Michael called Nov 18.

"Hello. This is Rachel at "cardholder services", calling in reference to your current credit card account. There are no problems currently with your account. It is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate to as little as 6.9%. Your eligibility expires shortly, so please consider this your final notice. Please press the number one on your phone now to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press the number three to discontinue further notices. Thank you. Have a great day."

That's twelve "final" notices that's called my phone numbers.

Mar 1: Answering machine spam: Recording of Kerry with State Line Debt

This recording has called Mar 1.

"Hi. This is Kerry with State Line DEBT. Based on your MORTGAGE payment history, you've been preapproved for our exPRESS QUICK cash loan. WITH this loan, we can close in as little as three days and offer an INTEREST rate as low at 1%. You can use it to lower your mortgage payment or take cash out for any reason at all. To find out more, please press zero NOW to speak LIVE with a customer service agent."

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Mar 1: Answering machine spam: Recording of Terry with "debt specialists"

The recording has called Mar 1.

Her voice sounds very similar to what I remember the recordings of "Jane with the financial department", "Michelle with the financial department", "Brittany with the financial department", and "Jennifer with the financial department" sound like. Perhaps they were all recorded by the same person.

"Uh hi. Uh this is Terry calling, with debt specialists. You may recall receiving a letter, stating that you've been approved to consolidate your credit cards, beyond to as low as 1.5% interest. Uh this is not a new loan. And again, you've already been approved by certified non-profit agency. In order to lower your rates before your next billing cycle, I do need to find out what your current balances are. So if you can please have your statements ready when you call, that would really help. Press the number one key now, to be connected with an agent. Or press three to be removed."

Asking to have credit card statements ready makes me think it's a scam. And the voice sounds very much like the voices fraudulently saying they're with "the financial department". I think they're all the same voice.