Dec 26: Recording of "Dave" with authorized "Dish Network" dealer

"Hi. This is Dave calling with an authorized Dish Network dealer in your area. I'll get right to the point. If you feel like you've been paying too much every month, and getting very little for your cable TV, I have a great deal for you. We will give you free satellite TV equipment and installation for up to four rooms with the lowest and best monthly price in the country. Sign up today, and we'll also give you a free two room DVR system, which will allow you to skip those annoying commercials and never miss your favorite TV show again. Lower prices, better channels, and better service for you and your family. Press one to hear more."

"Hi. This is Dave calling with an authorized Dish Network dealer in your area. I'll get right to the point. If you feel like you've been paying too much every month, and getting very little for your cable TV, I have a great deal for you. We will give you free satellite TV equipment and installation for up to four rooms with the lowest and best monthly price in the country. Sign up today, and we'll also give you a free two room DVR system, which will allow you to skip those annoying commercials and never miss your favorite TV show again. Lower prices, better channels, and better service for you and your family. Press one to hear more."

"Hi. This is Dave calling with an authorized Dish Network dealer in your area. I'll get right to the point. If you feel like you've been paying too much every month, and getting very little for your cable TV, I have a great deal for you. We will give you free satellite TV equipment and installation for up to four rooms with the lowest and best monthly price in the country. Sign up today, and we'll also give you a free two room DVR system, which will allow you to skip those annoying commercials and never miss your favorite TV show again. Lower prices, better channels, and better service for you and your family. Press one to hear more."

It repeated 3 times before the answering machine limit cut it off.

"Skip annoying commercials." What irony.

Dec 19: Recording of refinance scam: "Loan Services" call center

The recording was something like this: "This is a courtesy call for area homeowners only. We're calling to announce that Fanny Mae recently expanded their underwriting. To allow more homeowners to qualify for low interest rate loans. With interest rates as low as they are, regardless of your credit, this may be for you. If you are a homeowner. You can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply lower your payment. This is for homeowners only. To be added to our do not call list, please press two. For more information on how to get this free report, please press one. Again, press two to be put on our do not call list. Or press one for more information." The wording was different, but "courtesy call", "Fanny Mae", and "area homeowners" were in the recording.

I pressed one and talked to this guy for a while before he hung up on me.

He said that they were a call center in India called "Loan Services". Apparently, for security reasons, he couldn't tell me their address, and they have no web site, no phone number, and no business license. His only explanation of "security reasons" was that they could be talking to "crazy people".

He explained that "area homeowners" means all over the United States.

He said that they take information from people and then pass it on to loan brokers, who then call the people back. He refused to name any of the loan brokers. Sounds like an easy way to get scammed to me.

Dec 18: Recording of bogus "public service announcement" from "American Equity"

"This is an important public service announcement from American Equity. If you have an adjustable rate mortgage that's going up or want to refinance to pull out money for the holidays, right now is a great time. The federal reserve has cut rates again. Call us back now at 877-772-3266 to take advantage of this incredible offer today. Once again, that number is 877-772-3266."

Dec 12: Recording of scam from "Erica", apparently about satellite TV

"Hi. This is Erica. And I'm calling to let you know that according to a recent FTC report, switching from cable to satellite can save you an average of thirty-one dollars per month. Call me back today, and I can get you further(?) with a free DVR or HD receiver, free installation, and three months of sports and premium movie channels all for free. This is a very limited time offer, so please call me back soon at 877-592-5969. Once again, 877-592-5969, and I hope to hear from you soon."

I couldn't really tell what she said what I transcribed as "further". It also sounded like "server". Neither makes any sense.

Dec 12: Recording of scam from "Lauren" with "MCS preferred account services"

"This is Lauren with MCS preferred account services calling in regards to your credit card account. It has been brought to our attention that you may be eligible for a significant interest rate reduction for all of your qualified accounts. If you currently carry balances that are higher than four thousand dollars and you are paying thirteen percent or higher on your Visa, Mastercard, American Express or Discover, please press one now to be transferred to a live operator to confirm your eligibility for new lower rates. This could be your final notice. So please press one now. Press three now to be taken off of our notification list."

"Final notice"? From a scammer? We'll see about that.

Dec 12: Recording "Kelly" at "credit card services" scam for "debt pros"

"Hi. This is Kelly at credit card services. I'm calling with an important announcement about your credit card account. This is our third attempt at reaching you. Our records indicate that you have been overpaying interest. Right now, we have you qualified to reduce your interest payment. To as low as two point nine percent. And cut your monthly payments in half. If you want to cut your monthly payment, lower your interest rate, and consolidate to one monthly payment, press one now. Again, this is your final chance to participate. So press one now. Or press three to be removed."

So many fucking lies. This recording called more than three times. All those other "final chance to participate" statements were lies.

If I get this call live rather than on an answering machine, I should ask which credit card account they are talking about. I've already asked what records they had about overpaying interest and they said that they didn't have those records, so that was a lie.

Dec 11: Recording of scam from "Sean Peterson" with the "nationwide debt relief"

"Hi. This is Sean Peterson with the nationwide debt relief. Due to the country's current financial problems, we have teamed up a group of nonprofit organizations to help Americans consolidate all their unsecured debt, including credit cards and personal loans. Into one low monthly payment. And for a limited time reduce their interest rate to as low as one point nine percent. Stop the harassing collection calls, avoid bankruptcy, and lower your monthly payment. Grab your statements. Call us today. 866-480-5213. Again, that's 866-480-5213. Press one to repeat this message. Press two to leave a message. Or press nine to be removed from our calling list."

Dec 7: Recording of fraud from "Heather" at "account services"

"Hello. This is Heather at account services. And we're calling in reference to your current credit card account. There's no problems currently with your account. It is urgent however that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. Your eligibility expires shortly. So please consider this your final notice. Please press one now on your phone to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press two to discontinue further notices. Thank you and have a great day."

I guess it's no longer "to as little as six point nine percent."

Dec 7: Recording of refinance scam

The recording was something like this: "This is a courtesy call for area homeowners only. We're calling to announce that Fanny Mae recently expanded their underwriting. To allow more homeowners to qualify for low interest rate loans. With interest rates as low as they are, regardless of your credit, this may be for you. If you are a homeowner. You can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply lower your payment. This is for homeowners only. To be added to our do not call list, please press two. For more information on how to get this free report, please press one. Again, press two to be put on our do not call list. Or press one for more information." There was something about one percent in there as well. I pressed zero, and it hung up on me.

Dec 6: Recording of extended vehicle warranty scam

"Hello, this is a courtesy care notice to inform you that the vehicle that you are driving will soon meet the deadline to extend the warranty coverage that protects you against costly repair bills. Our warranty specialists are standing by and will take just a few minutes to quote you coverage and give you the peace of mind you deserve. Time is running out, so press one now to be transferred to the next warranty specialist. Remember to ask about our employee pricing discounts and interest-free financing. If you have already extended coverage since this notice, or would like to have your name removed from this offer, press nine now."

Dec 5: Recording of "this is your captain speaking" scam

"Hello. This is your captain speaking. You will receive two free boarding passes for an all-inclusive cruise to Nassau, Bahamas in exchange for your answers to ten questions. This is a public opinion poll. The process is automated. Just press the keys on your telephone keypad for your answers. You will receive two free boarding passes for an all-inclusive cruise to Nassau, Bahamas when you're finished. This process only takes a minute. Press one to start the automated survey and receive two complimentary cruise passes."

"Don't miss the boat. Press one now."

There were a bunch of stupid sound effects interspersed throughout the recording.

Dec 4: Recording of "Paula Teel" with Cancun Mexico scam

"This is Paula Teel. Just a reminder as a preferred customer, you have been selected to receive a four day three night vacation. At the nunununumber oneoneone resort in the world. Located in Cancun, Mexico. Your vacation includes all the gourmet meals you can eat. As well as all the premium brand alcohol you can drink. Choose from thirthirthirteen bababars, fofofofourteen rerererestaurants, along with twenty-four hour room service. And your own private beach butler. On site of our four hundred and fifty acre playground. Including a private one-mile beach. Where you will find our world-famous spa. All for only two hundred and forty-nine dollars per person. Double occupancy. Price includes round trip airport limo transfers. As wewewewell as all papapapaasses and gratuity. Press one now on your keypad. Or press three to be removed."

Dec 3: Recording of "Are you a homeowner..." fraud

"Are you a homeowner. Age sixty-two or older. Would you like to never have a mortgage payment again and still keep your home? What if you could qualify with no credit or no income. If you have equity, may we see if you can qualify? Press one now for more information."

Dec 3: Recording of bogus "public service message" from the "national health care association"

"This is a public service message from the national health care association. We have found a health care program for a low as three dollars a day. Press one now to hear about this complete medical benefits savings program, which includes hospitalization benefits, doctor benefits, and hearing benefits. Plus, applicants who enroll today receive free dental benefits and free vision benefits at no additional charge. To speak to a health care specialist, press one now and your family can get this complete medical benefits savings program. So go ahead. Press one. Or if you'd like to be removed from our database, press two."