Jan 27: Answering machine spam: Recording of Ashley with Dish Network

This recording has called Jan 27. Other Dish Network recordings have called Oct 25, Nov 3, and Dec 21. Presumably, another Dish Network recording will call my phone number sometime in February, promising to be able to save me money off of my $0 cable television bill.

"Hi. This is Ashley. Like you've probably noticed, cable rates went up AGAIN the first of this year. There IS a solution. With Dish Network, we can save you up to $20 per month off of your cable bill AND give you free installation, free activation, and free equipment for up to four rooms. In fact, if you press one now, we'll give you a DVR or HD receiver for free. It's your choice. So go ahead and press one now and get set up with the BEST satellite TV available. For our first ten callers, we'll give a free DVD player with your satellite system, so press one now."

Jan 25: Answering machine spam: Recording of Jeff over at "the mortgage company"

This dishonest recording has called on Jan 25.

"Hi. This is Jeff. I'm uh, I'm uh over at the mortgage company? Listen. I've been trying to get a hold of you, uh, for a while now. Anyway, I did some research and I've found that you've been paying more than you should on your current monthly mortgage payment? Uh, and also that both of your interest rate and your payment should be easily adjusted with a few minor adjustments. Uh, now if you've already spoken to us or you're satisfied with your current rate and wish to discontinue further notification, uh, please press three now. Otherwise, please press the ONE key and allow one of my customer service representatives to verify your information. Please press the one key now to verify your property address. Thank you."

Saying he's from "the mortgage company?" is dishonest. Saying he's been trying to get hold of me (personally) is dishonest also.

Saying things like "easily adjusted with a few minor adjustments" is, uh, semi-literate. Uh, yeah. This guy is, uh, semi-literate.

Jan 25: Answering machine spam: Recording of Jane with "the financial department"

This recording has called Jan 11 and 25. An almost identical recording of "Michelle" with "the mortgage department" called on on Oct 6, 19, Nov 7, 8, 11, twice on Nov 14, and Dec 8 and 20, as well as on Nov 4 with "the financial department". A very similar recording of "Brittany" called on Dec 19. A very similar recording of "Jennifer" with "the financial department" called Dec 5.

There were also calls from "William Harrison" from "the financial department" on Sept 2, 6, 20, 21, 22, 29, Oct 12, 13, 25, 28, Nov 1, 10, and 14.

"Hi. This is Jane with the financial department. Based on your current payment history, we have preapproved you for a new interest rate, as low at 1%. APR 5.68. Your confirmation number is 000000. To take advantage of the lowest rates in the state of California, with absolutely no points and no fees, press number 1 key now. Or press 2 to be removed from the marketing list."

Jan 24: Answering machine spam: Recording of Kevin

This recording has called Jan 24.

"Hi. This is Kevin. I'm calling about your existing home loan. Because you've been on time with your mortgage payment, we feel it's very likely we can lower your monthly mortgage payment. If you feel you have the lowest rate already and you don't want to be reminded again, press three to speak to a live operator that will remove you from our reminder list. Otherwise, press one now for a free evaluation."

Why the fuck can't these morons remove me from their list after calling my answering machine? They've already called, so what the fuck do they think they can gain by calling again? Perhaps this is the next iteration of the COURTESY call from John, and will land in my answering machine dozens of times also.

Jan 23: Answering machine spam: Anonymous mortgage

This recording has called on Jan 23. Since it's anonymous, I can't correlate it to any others.

"Hello. Are you a homeowner? With interest rates spiking upwards this could be your VERY last chance to LOWER your monthly payment and put MORE money in your POCKET. We have GREAT adjustable loan and fixed rate programs. You can save BIG with one of the TOP lenders in the nation, and in MOST cases, regardless of your credit history. AND we get most clients PREapproved in less than twenty-four hours. Don't miss your chance to lock in a LOW LOW interest rate. If you are NOT interested in this FREE offer, please hang up now or press two to be removed from our CALL list. If you ARE interested and would LIKE a free quote, please press one to connect one of our loan specialists. It's ABSOLUTELY free so press one NOW."

Jan 22: Lorenzo for the Association for Firefighters

There was the telemarketer background noise.

I asked him who he was twice before he said who he was.

He then asked how I was, and then he hung up on me. Jerk.

Jan 19: Recording of John with "COURTESY" call from anonymous company

his recording called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 14, 17 and 19. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10. A similar anonymous recording called Jan 11.

"Hello. My name is John and this is a COURTESY call to let YOU know that Fanny Mae has recently expanded their underwriting guidelines to allow MORE people to qualify for low interest rate home loans. With interest rates as low as they are, this means if you have good credit, less than perfect credit, or even a recent bankruptcy, we can HELP. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free quote, please hang up now, or press 2 to be added to our do not call list. If you would LIKE a free rate quote, please press 1 to connect to a home loan specialist. Again, please press 1 for a no obligation rate quote."

It seems like some fucking idiots started a telemarketer machine and never turned it off. And now it's cycling through its list every two days.

Jan 19: Answering machine spam: Recording of anonymous woman

"Hello. If you would like to participate in a community awareness plan, please press one."

Jan 18: Answering machine spam: Anonymous man

"aum shlom" (or something weird)

(Telemarketer background noise.)

"Hello. Is ___ home?"

Jan 18: Answering machine spam: Recording of Mike from the finance department of Mortgage Solutions

This recording has called on Jan 18.

"Hello, this is Mike from the finance department at Mortgage Solutions. I'm calling regarding your current mortgage. You have been preselected for a lower interest rate, possibly as low as 1.95%. Please press nine to speak with a loan specialist. Press nine now on your touch tone telephone, or press eight to be removed from our list, so we can proceed with processing your request. Please press nine or call 866-691-2114. Thank you."

"I am a telemarketer. Press nine. I am an idiot. Press nine. I repeat myself ad nauseum. Press nine. I want to process your request that you have never made. Press nine. I will call again later. Press nine." Fucking morons.

Jan 17: Answering machine spam: Recording of John with "COURTESY" call from anonymous company

This recording called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 14 and 17. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10. A similar anonymous recording called Jan 11.

"Hello. My name is John and this is a COURTESY call to let YOU know that Fanny Mae has recently expanded their underwriting guidelines to allow MORE people to qualify for low interest rate home loans. With interest rates as low as they are, this means if you have good credit, less than perfect credit, or even a recent bankruptcy, we can HELP. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free quote, please hang up now, or press 2 to be added to our do not call list. If you would LIKE a free rate quote, please press 1 to connect to a home loan specialist. Again, please press 1 for a no obligation rate quote."

How long will this shit continue?

Jan 16: Answering machine spam: Recording of anonymous woman at American First Financial and American First Real Estate

This dishonest and insincere recording has called Nov 16 and Jan 16.

"You have reached American First Financial and American First Real Estate services incorporated. We regret having inconvenienced you at this time. If you wish to contact us for any reason whatsoever, please call us at 909-944-5525. Again, our sincerest apologies for having inconvenienced you at this time. Thank you."

Jan 13: Answering machine spam: Recording of Alison with anonymous credit card company

This fraudulent sounding has called on Jan 13. It sounds similar to those other fraudulent sounding recordings calling about "your credit card account", except this womans voice sounds older.

"This is Alison calling in regards with your credit card account. I'm not calling about any problems with your account. The reason for the call is to let you know that you are now eligible for interest rates as low as 6%. If you owe at least $2500 and would like to be transfered to a representative regarding your account, please press one now. To be placed on the do not call list, press three."

Jan 14: Recording of John with anonymous mortgage company

This recording called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13 and 14. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10. A similar anonymous recording called Jan 11.

"Hello. My name is John and this is a COURTESY call to let YOU know that Fanny Mae has recently expanded their underwriting guidelines to allow MORE people to qualify for low interest rate home loans. With interest rates as low as they are, this means if you have good credit, less than perfect credit, or even a recent bankruptcy, we can HELP. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free quote, please hang up now, or press 2 to be added to our do not call list. If you would LIKE a free rate quote, please press 1 to connect to a home loan specialist. Again, please press 1 for a no obligation rate quote."

How long will this shit continue? And now it calls daily?

Jan 13: Answering machine spam: Recording of John with anonymous mortgage company

This recording called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5, 7, 9, 11 and 13. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10. A similar anonymous recording called Jan 11.

"Hello. My name is John and this is a COURTESY call to let YOU know that Fanny Mae has recently expanded their underwriting guidelines to allow MORE people to qualify for low interest rate home loans. With interest rates as low as they are, this means if you have good credit, less than perfect credit, or even a recent bankruptcy, we can HELP. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free quote, please hang up now, or press 2 to be added to our do not call list. If you would LIKE a free rate quote, please press 1 to connect to a home loan specialist. Again, please press 1 for a no obligation rate quote."

How long will this shit continue?

Jan 11: Answering machine spam: Recording of John with anonymous mortgage company

This recording called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5, 7, 9 and 11. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10.

"Hello. My name is John and this is a COURTESY call to let YOU know that Fanny Mae has recently expanded their underwriting guidelines to allow MORE people to qualify for low interest rate home loans. With interest rates as low as they are, this means if you have good credit, less than perfect credit, or even a recent bankruptcy, we can HELP. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free quote, please hang up now, or press 2 to be added to our do not call list. If you would LIKE a free rate quote, please press 1 to connect to a home loan specialist. Again, please press 1 for a no obligation rate quote."

These fuckers are really calling every other day. Plus, there's that other recording that called today as well that claims to using an "unusual way to announce" their bullshit that's just about the same as this.

Jan 11: Answering machine spam: Recording of Jane with "the financial department"

This recording has called Jan 11. An almost identical recording of "Michelle" with "the mortgage department" called on on Oct 6, 19, Nov 7, 8, 11, twice on Nov 14, and Dec 8 and 20, as well as on Nov 4 with "the financial department". A very similar recording of "Brittany" called on Dec 19. A very similar recording of "Jennifer" with "the financial department" called Dec 5.

There were also calls from "William Harrison" from "the financial department" on Sept 2, 6, 20, 21, 22, 29, Oct 12, 13, 25, 28, Nov 1, 10, and 14.

"Hi. This is Jane with the financial department. Based on your current payment history, we have preapproved you for a new interest rate, as low at 1%. APR 5.68. Your confirmation number is 000000. To take advantage of the lowest rates in the state of California, with absolutely no points and no fees, press number 1 key now. Or press 2 to be removed from the marketing list."

Jan 11: Answering machine spam: Recording of anonymous man with anonymous mortgage company

This recording sounds very familiar. A very similar recording of John called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5, 7 and 9. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10.

"Hello. I hope I'm not intruding. This is a courtesy call for area homeowners only. We're using this unusual way to announce that Fanny-Mae has recently expanded their underwriting to allow more homeowners to qualify for low interest rate loans. With interest rates as low as they are, if you have good credit, slow credit, or even a bankruptcy, this may be for you, if you are a homeowner. You can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply lower your payment. This is for homeowners only. For more information on how to get this free report, please press the number one on your telephone now. Or if you wish to be put on our do not call list, you may press the number two. Again, press one to connect to a live operator, or two to be put on our do not call list. Please press one now to speak to a live operator."

These fucking recordings are not only calling my phone number repeatedly, their messages are full of repetition.

Jan 10: Answering machine spam: Recording of Jack with Goldstocks

(Long pause.)

"Hello. This is Jack with GoldStocks. We just sent you some important information regarding the world's smallest MP3 player with color display. It already has major celebrity endorsements and news coverage and will compete against the iPod now. Look for this information in your mail, and check out www k l e g g u s a .com. That's www.kleggusa.com."

Jan 9: Answering machine spam: Stupid telemarketer

"Hello."

"Helloooo...."

There was imperfectly suppressed telemarketer background noise. I think that woman or someone with a very similar voice called my answering machine with the same message a bunch of times.

Jan 9: Answering machine spam: Recording of John with anonymous mortgage company

This recording called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5, 7 and 9. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10.

"Hello. My name is John and this is a COURTESY call to let YOU know that Fanny Mae has recently expanded their underwriting guidelines to allow MORE people to qualify for low interest rate home loans. With interest rates as low as they are, this means if you have good credit, less than perfect credit, or even a recent bankruptcy, we can HELP. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free quote, please hang up now, or press 2 to be added to our do not call list. If you would LIKE a free rate quote, please press 1 to connect to a home loan specialist. Again, please press 1 for a no obligation rate quote."

It's calling every other day! Maybe so many numbers got added to their do not call list that my number keeps getting cycled through to so often. Stupid jerks.

Jan 7: Answering machine spam: Stupid telemarketer

"Hi, may I talk to Mrs ___?"

"Helloooo?"

"Nummer are you dare?"

The telemarketer background noise was evident when he was speaking. It was suppressed when he wasn't. I'm not sure what I transcribed as "Nummer" actually was supposed to be.

Jan 7: Answering machine spam: Recording of John with anonymous mortgage company

This recording called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3, 5 and 7. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10.

"Hello. My name is John and this is a COURTESY call to let YOU know that Fanny Mae has recently expanded their underwriting guidelines to allow MORE people to qualify for low interest rate home loans. With interest rates as low as they are, this means if you have good credit, less than perfect credit, or even a recent bankruptcy, we can HELP. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free quote, please hang up now, or press 2 to be added to our do not call list. If you would LIKE a free rate quote, please press 1 to connect to a home loan specialist. Again, please press 1 for a no obligation rate quote."

Jan 5: Answering machine spam: Recording of John with anonymous mortgage company

"Hi, this is John, and if you're in an adjustable rate mortgage, you're sitting on a TICKing time bomb. You need to KNOW that MOST economists predict the trend of rising rates will continue to threaten homeowners for at LEAST the next several years. To find out how you can protect yourself against RISing rates and RUNaway mortgage costs, please, press the ONE key on your telephone."

Jan 5: Answering machine spam: Anonymous woman

"Hello..."

"Hello..."

Sounds familiar. Stupid telemarketers don't even identify themselves.

Jan 5: Answering machine spam: Recording of John with anonymous mortgage company

This recording called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15, Jan 3 and 5. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10.

"Hello. My name is John and this is a COURTESY call to let YOU know that Fanny Mae has recently expanded their underwriting guidelines to allow MORE people to qualify for low interest rate home loans. With interest rates as low as they are, this means if you have good credit, less than perfect credit, or even a recent bankruptcy, we can HELP. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free quote, please hang up now, or press 2 to be added to our do not call list. If you would LIKE a free rate quote, please press 1 to connect to a home loan specialist. Again, please press 1 for a no obligation rate quote."

Jan 3: Answering machine spam: Recording of John with anonymous mortgage company

This recording called Nov 16, 23, Dec 13, 15 and Jan 3. An almost identical recording of Shawn called Nov 10.

"Hello. My name is John and this is a COURTESY call to let YOU know that Fanny Mae has recently expanded their underwriting guidelines to allow MORE people to qualify for low interest rate home loans. With interest rates as low as they are, this means if you have good credit, less than perfect credit, or even a recent bankruptcy, we can HELP. With financing options as low as 1%, you can use the money to consolidate bills, refinance credit card debt, or simply LOWER your current payment. If you are NOT interested in this free quote, please hang up now, or press 2 to be added to our do not call list. If you would LIKE a free rate quote, please press 1 to connect to a home loan specialist. Again, please press 1 for a no obligation rate quote."

Jan 3: Answering machine spam: Recording of Rachel at "cardholder services"

The fraudulent sounding recording of Rachel at "cardholder services" called Sep 15, Oct 4, Nov 16, Dec 19, and at work on Dec 2 and 30. The fraudulent sounding recording of Michael called Nov 18.

"Hello. This is Rachel at "cardholder services", calling in reference with your current credit card account. There are no problems currently with your account. It is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate to as little as 6.9%. Your eligibility expires shortly, so please consider this your final notice. Please press the number one on your phone now to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or to be removed from further notices, press two. Thank you. Have a great day."

The "Or to be removed from further notices, press two" was patched in with a different voice. It used to say press three to be removed.

That's the eighth "final" notice that's called my phone numbers.