Apr 27: "President Obama has asked mortgage lenders" scam

Woman's voice: "Hello. President Obama has asked mortgage lenders to work with their customers to modify their mortgage and make them more affordable for their customers. We are implementing this procedure under this directive and are calling to get your mortgage modified and renegotiated with your lender. To make your payments more affordable. To see if you qualify for this program, please press one now to speak with a representative. Or press nine if you are not a homeowner or wish to be removed from our list. Press one to enroll in this program to lower your mortgage now. Or press nine to be removed from our list. It is important that lenders do everything possible to keep you in your home and not allow you to go to foreclosure. Press one to start the process of reducing the payments on your mortgage. Press one now. Or press nine to be removed from our list. Press one and lower your mortgage under President Obama's plan. Press one now."

Apr 27: Noise on answering machine

This crap has been coming in a number of times in the last few weeks, along with the usual hangup telemarketers calls. Perhaps it's the return of junk fax spamming.

Apr 20: "Rachel at cardholder services" harassment scam

Woman's voice: "Hello. This is Rachel at cardholder services? Calling in reference to your current credit card account? There are no problems currently with your account. It is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. Your eligibility expires shortly, so please consider this your final notice. Please press the number one on your phone now to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press the number thr-TWO to discontinue further notices. Thank you. Have a great day."

Apr 16: Mercury News telemarketer

I said I wasn't interested. This was the first call from the Mercury News that I've gotten in over a year. I guess they haven't given up on telemarketing after all.

Apr 16: "Public service message" from "the medical benefits association" scam

Woman's voice: "This is a public service message from the medical benefits association. We have found a complete health care program for as low as three dollars per day. To receive this important information for you and your family, please press one now. This complete health care program includes doctor visits, hospitalization benefits, and prescription health benefits. Also. Applicants who enroll today receive free dental benefits, free vision benefits, and free hearing benefits. So press one now. Or if you'd like to be removed from our database, press two. Thank you."

I pressed one and talked to some guy. I answered "yes" to all his questions, and then he hung up on me. I think the final question was not a yes/no question.

Apr 15: Loan modification scam "targeting homeowners"

The recording also said something about President Obama. And it said to press one. I pressed one and fed a whole bunch of fake information to some guy about being behind on a fake mortgage in response to his questions. When I couldn't come up with a fake address, I hung up. I need to have a fake address prepared for the next scam that calls. Some address on some non-existent street. I ought to make up some fake story about being laid off recently too as a fake reason for being behind on the fake mortgage.

Apr 15: "Samantha" from "cash for gold" scam

There was a recording of "Samantha from cash for gold", www.cashforgold.com. The recording said a bunch of bullshit. I pressed one, and the recording said that something would be mailed to me. I wonder what they think my mailing address is.

Apr 13: Recording of "this is an important message regarding your current credit card account" scam

Woman's voice: "This is an important message regarding your current credit card account. We have made several attempts to reach you. This is your final courtesy call before we are unable to lower your credit card interest rate. Press one to speak to our member services department. Or press two and your eligibility to lower your rates will expire."

Apr 10: Recording of "this is an important message regarding your current credit card account" scam

Woman's voice: "This is an important message regarding your current credit card account. We have made several attempts to reach you. This is your final courtesy call before we are unable to lower your credit card interest rate. Press one to speak to our member services department. Or press two and your eligibility to lower your rates will expire."

Apr 10: "Press one now" loan modification scam

Woman's voice: "...hind on your payment, or have an adjustable rate, press one now. Press one now if you'd like to modify your payment with no refinancing, no appraisal, and no credit check. Press one now. This is available to you even if the value of your home has dropped below your loan balance. Press one now."

Apr 8: "President Obama has asked mortgage lenders" scam

Woman's voice: "Hello. President Obama has asked mortgage lenders to work with their customers to modify their mortgage and make them more affordable for their customers. We are implementing this procedure under this directive and are calling to get your mortgage modified and renegotiated with your lender. To make your payments more affordable. To see if you qualify for this program, please press one now to speak with a representative. Or press nine if you are not a homeowner or wish to be removed from our list."

Apr 3: "Super savings" gas card and travel certificate scam

There was some recording. I do not remember what it said, but it was something about a one hundred dollar gas card and a travel certificate and something about a four dollars and ninety-nine cents credit or debit card charge for shipping and handling. Obviously a scam. So I pressed one and talked to some dude.

He asked if I pressed one for the gas card and travel certificate. I lied and said yes. He said a bunch of stuff about the scam that I don't remember. There was something about three free promotions or something. Then he asked me about a bunch of stuff. He already had my phone number. I gave him a fake name, a fake mailing address, a fake credit card number. The fake credit card number was rejected by their system, so we went back and forth repeating the number a few time.

Finally, he asked if they'd called me before and then hung up on me.

Apr 2: Recording of "this is an important message regarding your current credit card account" scam

Woman's voice: "This is an important message regarding your current credit card account. We have made several attempts to reach you. This is your final courtesy call before we are unable to lower your credit card interest rate. Press one to speak to our member services department. Or press two and your eligibility to lower your rates will expire."

Apr 2: "Rachel at cardholder services" harassment scam

Woman's voice: "Hello. This is Rachel at cardholder services? Calling in reference to your current credit card account? There are no problems currently with your account. It is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. Your eligibility expires shortly, so please consider this your final notice. Please press the number one on your phone now to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press the number thr-TWO to discontinue further notices. Thank you. Have a great day."

Apr 1: "Rachel at cardholder services" scam

Woman's voice: "Hello. This is Rachel at cardholder services? Calling in reference to your current credit card account? There are no problems currently with your account. It is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. Your eligibility expires shortly, so please consider this your final notice. Please press the number one on your phone now to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press the number three to discontinue further notices. Thank you. Have a great day."

So I pressed one and some scammer woman started talking to me. She asked if I pressed one to lower my interest rates, so I lied and said yes. She asked if I knew if my interest rate was over thirteen percent, and I said yes, which would not necessarily be a lie, since I could know that my interest rate was not over thirteen percent. Then she told a bunch of lies about card member services and that they sent a letter to me some time in the last thirty days and that they were calling because there was no response to this (fictitious) letter. She said some lies about Visa and Mastercard and how my payments would go towards the balance rather than high interest rates. Then, the line hung up while she was in mid-sentence. Silly scammers.