Aug 29: Recording of "Jen" with satellite TV scam

Woman's voice: "Hi. This is Jen calling to set up delivery and installation of your new digital home satellite TV system. Because we're doing installations in your neighborhood right now, you can get free installation and a four room digital satellite TV system for free. This system also includes free DVR receivers. You know, like tivo? Which is awesome. To learn more, press one on your phone right now. This is by far the best deal, saving you on average over four hundred dollars per year compared to cable rates. Once again, to learn more and to be connected to one of our agents, press one on your phone right now."

This is the thirteenth time this fucking recording has called, and the seventh time this month. It is not awesome.

Aug 29: Recording of "are you having a hard time with your mortgage payment" scam

Woman's voice: "Are you having a hard time with your mortgage payment? Do you have past due payments? Or currently in a foreclosure? Well now there's a solution. With the loss mitigation department, we can help. Please press one now to find out how we can help. Press two to be removed from the list."

Aug 28: Recording of "William Johnson" with the "travel rewards center" scam

Man's voice: "Hello. This is William Johnson? I'm with the travel rewards center? I wanted to congratulate you. Uh, your family was randomly selected to receive a free three day two night Nassau, Bahama cruise and island vacation and one thousand three hundred and one dollars towards your next Orlando, Florida vacation. Please press one to claim your vacation. Again, please press one to claim your vacation. Or press two to be removed from our list."

Aug 28: Recording of "public service" scam "message" from the "premier health association"

Man's voice: "This is a public service message from the premier health association. We have found a health care program for as low as seven dollars a day. Press one now to hear about this complete medical benefits savings program, which includes hospitalization benefits, doctor benefits, and hearing benefits. Plus. Applicants who enroll today receive dental benefits and vision benefits at no additional charge. To speak to a health care specialist, press one now and your family can get this complete medical benefits savings program. So go ahead. Press one now. Or if you would like to be removed from our database, press nine."

Aug 28: Recording of "seniors financial assistance homeowners program" announcement scam

Man's voice: "This announcement concerns your eligibility for the government's seniors financial assistance homeowners program. If you are a homeowner sixty-two or older, you may use the money from this program in any way you choose. The FHA, or the federal housing administration, endorses, insures, and guarantees that you may be able to convert your home equity into tax-free monthly income, without having to sell your home, give up title, or make monthly payment. This program will not affect your social security or medicare benefits in any way. Press one now to find out if you are eligible for the government's new seniors financial assistance homeowners program, and start enjoying this financial security blanket that you deserve. Press three to be removed from our database. Again, press one now to speak with a senior assistance specialist."

The way it blatantly targets old people makes it sound like a scam.

Aug 28: Recording of "this is the second notice" vehicle warranty scam

Woman's voice: "This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle may have expired, and should be reactivated to protect you against the cost of repairs. If you have not responded to this notification, it's not too late. Please don't make the mistake of driving without a warranty. You are still eligible to reactivate warranty coverage. This is the final call before we close the file. Press two to be removed from the follow-up list. Or press one to speak with a representative now about your vehicle."

Yes, this recording called me twice today.

Aug 28: Recording of "this is the second notice" vehicle warranty scam

Woman's voice: "This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle may have expired, and should be reactivated to protect you against the cost of repairs. If you have not responded to this notification, it's not too late. Please don't make the mistake of driving without a warranty. You are still eligible to reactivate warranty coverage. This is the final call before we close the file. Press two to be removed from the follow-up list. Or press one to speak with a representative now about your vehicle."

I pressed one, and talked to some guy. Eventually, he said, "I'm going to hang up on you because I don't think you're telling me the truth." And then he hung up on me. Unfortunately, I didn't tie him up from scamming other people for very long, so next time, I'll tell them some more plausible bullshit. That recording is full of lies and has called me lots and lots of times, so I don't feel bad at all about telling them lies in an attempt to tie up their call center personnel, keeping them from scamming more people than they otherwise would.

Aug 27: Recording of "if you're behind on your mortgage" scam

Man's voice: "Hi, if you're behind on your mortgage, close, or even in foreclosure, press one now to go over some options. If you'd like to be removed from our list, press two and we'll gladly remove you."

Why the fuck is my phone number on your stupid list in the first place, asshole?

Aug 27: Recording of "Jen" with satellite TV scam

Woman's voice: "Hi. This is Jen calling to set up delivery and installation of your new digital home satellite TV system. Because we're doing installations in your neighborhood right now, you can get free installation and a four room digital satellite TV system for free. This system also includes free DVR receivers. You know, like tivo? Which is awesome. To learn more, press one on your phone right now. This is by far the best deal, saving you on average over four hundred dollars per year compared to cable rates. Once again, to learn more and to be connected to one of our agents, press one on your phone right now."

Aug 27: Recording of "Andy" with satellite TV spam

Man's voice: "Hi this is Andy, I've got great news for you. You've been selected for a completely digital satellite TV system in your home for free. We're gonna be able to set you up with a free DVR, you know, like a Tivo? Free high-definition programming, and, for now, free HBO. And if you do sign up today, we're gonna go ahead and give you a fifty dollar credit towards your first month's bill. Press one on your phone to speak with a satellite TV representative. Again, press one on your phone now. If we've reached you in error, you'd like to be removed from our list, please press the number nine."

Aug 27: Recording of "this is the second notice" vehicle warranty scam

Woman's voice: "This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle may have expired, and should be reactivated to protect you against the cost of repairs. If you have not responded to this notification, it's not too late. Please don't make the mistake of driving without a warranty. You are still eligible to reactivate warranty coverage. This is the final call before we close the file. Press two to be removed from the follow-up list. Or press one to speak with a representative now about your vehicle."

Aug 26: Recording of "Jen" with satellite TV scam

Woman's voice: "Hi. This is Jen calling to set up delivery and installation of your new digital home satellite TV system. Because we're doing installations in your neighborhood right now, you can get free installation and a four room digital satellite TV system for free. This system also includes free DVR receivers. You know, like tivo? Which is awesome. To learn more, press one on your phone right now. This is by far the best deal, saving you on average over four hundred dollars per year compared to cable rates. Once again, to learn more and to be connected to one of our agents, press one on your phone right now."

Aug 26: Recording of "Selena" calling from the "legal assisted home saver program" scam

Woman's voice: "This is Selena calling from the legal assisted home saver program. Are you in jeopardy of losing your home? Have you been turned down for a refinance, or are your payments just too high? We can help. Press one to speak to an agent immediately. Press two to be removed from our list."

That's five times in the last six days from them. What the fuck?

Aug 26: Recording of Costa Rica and Orlando resort "vacation kiosk" at Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Wal-Mart, or Target scam

Woman's voice: "Hello. Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Wal-Mart, and even Target now have their summer displays up. Recently a friend or family member who visited one of these stores entered your name at the vacation kiosk, offering huge summer vacation package disounts. Congratulations. Your name was selected today to receive five days and four nights in beautiful Costa Rica. Also included today only are an additional three nights in sunny Orlando, Florida, and three nights in fabulous Daytona Beach. Your claim number is nine two four. Remember, that's nine two four. So press one now to hear all of the details. All of this for only ninety-nine dollars per person. Yes. Ninety-nine dollars per person. Press one now. If you would like to decline our offer, press three."

Aug 25: Recording of "we can help you become debt free" scam

Man's voice: "Hello. We're calling to let you know if you have at least seven thousand dollars or more unsecured debt, we can help you become debt free. Today. If you're tired of your high minimum payments, and paying on balances that do not seem to be going down, we can help you eliminate your debt for forty to fifty percent of what you owe. We can work with old medical bills, credit cards, collection accounts, and any personal loans. If you'd like to speak one of our debt specialists to find out more information on how you can start saving today, press one now. If you'd like to be removed from our marketing list, please press nine now. Thank you and have a nice day."

FOAD, jerk.

Aug 25: Recording of "Paul" with diabetic scam

Man's voice: "Hi uh, this is Paul. I was uh referred your name that you or someone you know is diabetic. I wanted to tell you that you could receive all your diabetic testing supplies for free through your current insurance provider. You also have been preapproved for free equipment upgrade with alternate site testing. You do not have to prick your finger. And uh you get fast, accurate results in five seconds. Once we verify your information, you can receive your equipment in hand within one to three days. Please press one now to be connected for free equipment upgrade. Or press three to discontinue any further notices. Thank you."

What the fuck? The wording is almost identical to the "Jamie" diabetic scam that also called today. It must be some sort of harassment.

Aug 25: Recording of "Jamie" with diabetic scam

Man's voice: "Hi. This is Jamie. I was referred your name that uh you or someone you know was a diabetic. I wanted to tell you that you can now receive all diabetic testing supplies for free through your current insurance provider or Medicare. You've also been approved for a free equipment upgrade that will give fast, accurate results within five seconds. Once we verify your information, you can receive your equipment in hand within one to three days. Please press one now to be connected for your free equipment upgrade. Or press three to discontinue any further notices. Thank you."

The "I was referred your name" is probably a lie. Why would someone refer my name as a diabetic except as harassment?

Aug 25: Recording of "Selena" calling from the "legal assisted home saver program" scam

Woman's voice: "This is Selena calling from the legal assisted home saver program. Are you in jeopardy of losing your home? Have you been turned down for a refinance, or are your payments just too high? We can help. Press one to speak to an agent immediately. Press two to be removed from our list."

That's four times in the last five days from them. What the fuck?

Aug 25: Recording of "Lisa" with "Dish Network" scam

Woman's voice: "Hi. This is Lisa with Dish Network. And we're calling to schedule an installation for your free satellite TV system. This is our third attempt at contacting you. Your free satellite TV system includes free installation, free DVR equipment, and one hundred dollars cash back. This could be your final notice, so please press the number one key now to schedule an installation for your free Dish Network system. Again, press the number one key now."

Aug 23: Recording of "Selena" calling from the "legal assisted home saver program" scam

Woman's voice: "This is Selena calling from the legal assisted home saver program. Are you in jeopardy of losing your home? Have you been turned down for a refinance, or are your payments just too high? We can help. Press one to speak to an agent immediately. Press two to be removed from our list."

That's three days in a row from them. What the fuck?

Aug 22: Recording of "Selena" calling from the "legal assisted home saver program" scam

Woman's voice: "This is Selena calling from the legal assisted home saver program. Are you in jeopardy of losing your home? Have you been turned down for a refinance, or are your payments just too high? We can help. Press one to speak to an agent immediately. Press two to be removed from our list."

These fuckers just called yesterday. What the fuck?

Aug 21: Recording of "Lisa" with "Dish Network" scam

Woman's voice: "Hi. This is Lisa with Dish Network. And we're calling to schedule an installation for your free satellite TV system. This is our third attempt at contacting you. Your free satellite system includes free installation, free DVR equipment, and one hundred dollars cash back. This could be your final notice, so please press the number one key now to schedule an installation for your free Dish Network system. Again, press the number one key now."

I call this a scam because of obvious lies like "This is our third attempt at contacting you."

Aug 21: Recording of "Selena" calling from the "legal assisted home saver program" scam

Woman's voice: "This is Selena calling from the legal assisted home saver program. Are you in jeopardy of losing your home? Have you been turned down for a refinance, or are your payments just too high? We can help. Press one to speak to an agent immediately. Press two to be removed from our list."

Aug 21: Recording of "we've been trying to reach you" car warranty scam

Woman's voice: "We've been trying to reach you about the expiration of your car's warranty. This needs to be handled as soon as possible. Please clear up this matter immediately, as you may be personally liable for all repairs. If this has been already been done, press two to update our records. Press one now to clear up this matter. Again, press one now immediately to clear up this matter."

These jerks just called yesterday. What the fuck?

Aug 20: Recording of "Good news help is here" refinance scam

Woman's voice: "... homeowners. Good news. Help is here. The federal housing administration has just raised the mortgage loan limits. To make it possible for people to refinance their existing jumbo mortgages to a low thirty years(sic) fix(sic). It is for a limited time only, so you need to act now to take advantage of this special offer. Regardless of your credit scores or financial situation, we can help you to get qualified and lock in this low FHA rate. Please press one to speak to one of our specialists. Or press two to be deleted from our marketing list."

Aug 20: Recording of Costa Rica and Orlando resort "vacation kiosk" at Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Wal-Mart, or Target scam

Woman's voice: "Hello. Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Wal-Mart, and even Target now have their summer displays up. Recently a friend or family member who visited one of these stores entered your name at the vacation kiosk, offering huge summer vacation package disounts. Congratulations. Your name was selected today to receive five days and four nights in beautiful Costa Rica. Also included today only are an additional three nights in sunny Orlando, Florida, and three nights in fabulous Daytona Beach. Your claim number is nine two four. Remember, that's nine two four. Press one now to hear all of the details. All of this for only ninety-nine dollars per person. Yes. Ninety-nine dollars per person. Press one now. If you would like to decline our offer, press three."

Aug 20: Recording of loan modification scam

Man's voice: "Hi. This is an important message regarding your mortgage. The government just implemented a new program that affects every homeowner in America. It is now required for your mortgage company to make your payment more affordable regardless of how much you owe or what your credit score is. If you have a rate that's adjustable, or you're facing foreclosure, or if you think your payment is just too high, you can get your loan modified. Loan modification is not and I repeat not a refinance. It has nothing to with your credit score or appraisal value. With loan modification, you keep your lender, and just simply lower your rate and get you caught up on all your payments. Now you've seen the news. Please take advantage of this program before it's too late. Press one for more information. Press two to be removed from this list."

Aug 20: Recording of "we've been trying to reach you" car warranty scam

Woman's voice: "We've been trying to reach you about the expiration of your car's warranty. This needs to be handled as soon as possible. Please clear up this matter immediately, as you may be liable for all repairs. If this has been already been done, press two to update our records. Press one now to clear up this matter. Again, press one now to immediately clear up this matter."

Fuck you and your stupid "records". Clear enough?

More on "cardholder services"

More on "cardholder services": http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=650891&cid=24669881.

Aug 19: Recording of "Good news help is here" refinance scam

Woman's voice: "... homeowners. Good news. Help is here. The federal housing administration has just raised the mortgage loan limits. To make it possible for people to refinance their existing jumbo mortgages to a low thirty years(sic) fix(sic). It is for a limited time only, so you need to act now to take advantage of this special offer. Regardless of your credit scores or financial situation, we can help you to get qualified and lock in this low FHA rate. Please press one to speak to one of our specialists. Or press two to be deleted from our marketing list."

Aug 19: Recording of "this call is regarding your mortgage payment and foreclosure" scam

Man's voice: "This call is regarding your mortgage payment and foreclosure. Our loss mitigation department is here to help by restructure(sic) your loan and lowering the payment up to fifty percent without having to refinance. You must act now. Please push one to speak with a specialist. Please push one now."

Aug 19: Recording of "Jen" with satellite TV scam

"Hi. This is Jen calling to set up delivery and installation of your new digital home satellite TV system. Because we're doing installations in your neighborhood right now, you can get free installation and a four room digital satellite TV system for free. This system also includes free DVR receivers. You know, like tivo? Which is awesome. To learn more, press one on your phone right now. This is by far the best deal, saving you on average over four hundred dollars per year compared to cable rates. Once again, to learn more and to be connected to one of our agents, press one on your phone right now."

Aug 18: Recording of "Michael" at "cardholder services" scam

Man's voice: "This is Michael at cardholder services. Calling in reference to your current credit card account. It is urgent ... Your eligibility ends shortly... press one..."

I don't remember the exact wording of the recording. I pressed one and there was a very fuzzy voice on the other end who kept saying that it was a bad connection and then hung up.

Aug 15: Recording of "this is an important call" vehicle warranty scam

Woman's voice: "This is an important call regarding your vehicle's warranty. Our records indicate that the warranty registration card previously mailed to your home has not been returned or responded to. Please press one now on your phone to speak with a customer representative regarding immediate activation. Press two if you are no longer interested in protecting your vehicle with this valuable service."

Aug 14: Recording of free in-home security system scam

Woman's voice: "We're calling to let you know that you qualify for a free in-home security system. If you act now, we will include two keychain remotes, which is a ninety-nine dollar value, for free. There is no cost for this equipment. And the installation is free. To speak with one of our security specialists now, please press one. If you would like to decline this special promotion, please press two now. Thank you."

Most of the sentences seemed spliced together, leaving insufficient time between them for breathing naturally. Probably to splice phrases in and out of different variations on the scam.

Aug 13: "Michael Connor" from the "loan modification department" scam

"Michael Connor calling back from the loan modification department at 1-800-935-8964. I am calling about your mortgage, as it looks your file qualifies for our loan modification and payment reduction. Uh, this program allows us to work together to reduce your loan payments and loan balance without having to refinance. So if your payments are going up, you are falling behind, or if you have been turned down for a refinance, then we can assist you in lowering your payments and avoid possible foreclosure. Uh, call us back at 800-935-8964."

This has to be a scam. I never called or contacted any "loan modification department" for any callback. I don't know what they mean by "your file". I guess that means that my phone number is on their sucker list.

Aug 13: Recording of "Jen" with satellite TV scam

"Hi. This is Jen calling to set up delivery and installation of your new digital home satellite TV system. Because we're doing installations in your neighborhood right now, you can get free installation and a four room digital satellite TV system for free. This system also includes free DVR receivers. You know, like tivo? Which is awesome. To learn more, press one on your phone right now. This is by far the best deal, saving you on average over four hundred dollars per year compared to cable rates. Once again, to learn more and to be connected to one of our agents, press one on your phone right now."

Aug 13: Recording of no money down brand-name computer scam

Man's voice: "Congratulations. You've been prequalified for a brand-name computer with no money down or credit check. You can even get a free printer and free LCD TV with your order. Press one now to take advantage of this exciting offer. Again, press one now. Or press three to decline this offer."

Aug 12: Recording of Cancun vacation scam

Woman's voice: "Hello. Just a reminder as a preferred customer, you have been selected to receive a six day five night vacation at the number one all-inclusive resort in the world located in Cancun, Mexico. Your vacation includes all gourmet meals you can eat, as well as all of the premium brand alcohol you can drink. We offer twenty-four hour room service, and all children under twelve are free. All this, only three hundred thirty-one dollars per person. This promotion is only good for today, so please press one on your keypad now to speak to a representative. Or press three to be removed."

This is the recording that called on Aug 7.

Aug 12: Recording of "this is the second notice" vehicle warranty scam

Woman's voice: "This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle may have expired, and should be reactivated to protect you against the cost of repairs. If you have not responded to this notification, it's not too late. Please don't make the mistake of driving without a warranty. You are still eligible to reactivate warranty coverage. This is the final call before we close the file. Press two to be removed from the follow-up list. Or press one to speak with a representative now about your vehicle."

Aug 12: Recording of "Jenna" on behalf of Fanny Mae spam

Woman's voice: "Please listen to this message in its entirety before selecting a response. Hello. My name is Jenna calling on behalf of the Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac foundation and I wanted to congratulate you. You have been preapproved by our underwriting department to dramatically lower your mortgage interest rate and monthly payment into a fixed loan, without needing to refinance, regardless of credit, income, or equity. To help reduce the chance a recession in the U.S. economy, all lenders are mandated to work with homeowners to eliminate a majority of the U.S. mortgage problem. We have prenegotiated terms with the majority of all lenders, allowing you to take advantage of this today. Press one now to see if you qualify for this limited time offer. Or press two to speak with an account manager about being removed this calling list. None of our representatives can remove you from the calling list, so to speak with an account manager about being removed from this calling list, please press two. To hear more about this program, please press one."

Aug 11: Recording of "this is the second notice" vehicle warranty scam

Woman's voice: "This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle may have expired, and should be reactivated to protect you against the cost of repairs. If you have not responded to this notification, it's not too late. Please don't make the mistake of driving without a warranty. You are still eligible to reactivate warranty coverage. This is the final call before we close the file. Press two to be removed from the follow-up list. Or press one to speak with a representative now about your vehicle."

Aug 11: Recording of "if you place one of our signs" home security scam

Man's voice: "Hello. If you place one of our signs in your front yard, we will place a seven hundred ninety-five dollar home security system in your home for free. And if you act now, we'll include two keychain remotes, a ninety-nine dollar value with your system. As I said, there is no cost for this equipment or the installation whatsoever. The only cost to you is the monitoring fee of only twenty-nine ninety-five per month. There is no obligation whatsoever. So if you'd like to hear more about the system, press number one. If you want to be placed on our do not call list, press number three."

Aug 8: Recording of free digital equipment scam

Woman's voice: "Hello and congratulations. Your house has been selected to receive free digital equipment. The government is requiring every household in America to have digital equipment before two thousand nine. You will receive free digital equipment, free installation for up to four rooms. Also, free DVR service. Plus HBO and stars, free for three months. Now this is a limited time offer, so press one now to hear more. Press three to be taken off the list."

The government is even requiring, say, Amish households to have digital equipment? What a load of shit.

Aug 8: Recording of "annoying commercials" from "Dave" with an "authorized Dish Network dealer"

"Hi. This is Dave calling with an authorized Dish Network dealer in your area. I'll get right to the point. If you feel like you've been paying too much every month, and getting very little for your cable TV, I have a great deal for you. We will give you free satellite TV equipment and installation for up to four rooms with the lowest and best monthly price in the country. Sign up today and we'll also give you a free two room DVR system, which will allow you to skip those annoying commercials and never miss your favorite TV show again. Lower prices, better channels, and better service for you and your family. Press one to hear more."

Aug 8: Recording of "this is the second notice" vehicle warranty scam

Woman's voice: "This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle may have expired, and should be reactivated to protect you against the cost of repairs. If you have not responded to this notification, it's not too late. Please don't make the mistake of driving without a warranty. You are still eligible to reactivate warranty coverage. This is the final call before we close the file. Press two to be removed from the follow-up list. Or press one to speak with a representative now about your vehicle."

Aug 8: Recording of "Jen" with satellite TV scam

"Hi. This is Jen calling to set up delivery and installation of your new digital home satellite TV system. Because we're doing installations in your neighborhood right now, you can get free installation and a four room digital satellite TV system for free. This system also includes free DVR receivers. You know, like tivo? Which is awesome. To learn more, press one on your phone right now. This is by far the best deal, saving you on average over four hundred dollars per year compared to cable rates. Once again, to learn more and to be connected to one of our agents, press one on your phone right now."

Aug 8: Recording of "this is your captain speaking" scam

Man's voice: "Hello. This is your captain speaking. You will receive two free boarding passes for an all-inclusive cruise to Nassau, Bahamas in exchange for your answers to ten questions. This is a public opinion poll. The process is automated. Just press the keys on your telephone keypad for your answers. You will receive two free boarding passes for an all-inclusive cruise to Nassau, Bahamas when you're finished. This process only takes a minute. Press one to start the automated survey and receive two complimentary cruise passes."

"Don't miss the boat. Press one now."

There were a bunch of stupid sound effects interspersed, as well as noises seemingly intended to fuck with answering machines. I pressed nine and it played a recording plus some robot voice saying my phone number was removed from their system.

Aug 7: Recording of no money down brand-name computer scam

Man's voice: "Congratulations. You've been prequalified for a brand-name computer with no money down or credit check. You can even get a free printer and free LCD TV with your order. Press one now to take advantage of this exciting offer. Again, press one now. Or press three to decline this offer."

Aug 7: Recording of Cancun vacation scam

There was a recording of a woman's voice. It was for three hundred thirty one dollars per person, which is different from the previous calls. After I pressed one, it hung up on me.

Aug 6: Recording of anonymous home loan and mortgage scam

Woman's voice: "Hello. I hope I'm not intruding. This is a courtesy call to area homeowners only. We are using this unusual way of announcing that FHA has released a new program that helps homeowners who are experiencing mortgage difficulties or have a pending foreclosure. We are offering FHA programs which will assist homeowners through financial difficulties and help to avoid foreclosure. This program is for people with mortgage liens, possible foreclosure, or if you owe more than the value of your home, we have solutions. This program is for you. This program will allow you to modify your home loan to stop the mortgage lien and foreclosure. To find out how you can qualify for this program, please press one now to speak with a loan modification specialist. If you would like to be put on our do not call list, please press two. Again, this program is for our area homeowners only. Please press one to speak with our live operator."

It sounded like "lay" and "lates" where I transcribed "lien" and "liens".

Aug 6: Recording of "Jen" with satellite TV scam

"Hi. This is Jen calling to set up delivery and installation of your new digital home satellite TV system. Because we're doing installations in your neighborhood right now, you can get free installation and a four room digital satellite TV system for free. This system also includes free DVR receivers. You know, like tivo? Which is awesome. To learn more, press one on your phone right now. This is by far the best deal, saving you on average over four hundred dollars per year compared to cable rates. Once again, to learn more and to be connected to one of our agents, press one on your phone right now."

Aug 6: Recording of scam from "Heather" at "account services" or "credit services"

"Hello. This is Heather at account services. And we're calling in reference to your current credit card account. There's no problems currently with your account. It is urgent however that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. To as little as six point nine percent. Your eligibility expires shortly. So please consider this your final notice. Please press one now on your phone to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press two to discontinue further notices. Thank you and have a great day."

"Hello. This is Heather at account services. And we're calling in reference to your current credit card account. There's no problems currently with your account. It is urgent however that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. To as little as six point nine percent. Your eligibility expires shortly. So please consider this your final notice. Please press one now on your phone to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press two to discontinue further notices. Thank you and have a great day."

"Hello. This is Heather at account services. And we're calling in reference to your current credit card account. There's no problems currently with your account. It is urgent however that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. To as little as six point nine percent. Your eligibility expires shortly. So please consider this your final notice. Please press one now on your phone to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press two to discontinue further notices. Thank you and have a great day."

Aug 5: Recording of "cardholder services" scam

Man's voice: "...cardholder services. Calling in reference to your current credit card account. Press two to be removed from our database. However, there are no problems with your account, but it is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility
for as little as forty to fifty cents on the dollar. And reduce your monthly payment by as much as fifty percent. Your eligibility could end shortly, so please consider this offer by pressing one now on your phone. And speaking to a live operator to substantially lower your monthly payment. Again, press the number one key to be connected to a representative. Thanks and have a great day."

Aug 4: Recording of "Jenna" on behalf of Fanny Mae spam

Woman's voice: "Please listen to this message in its entirety before selecting a response. Hello. My name is Jenna calling on behalf of the Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac foundation and I wanted to congratulate you. You have been preapproved by our underwriting department to dramatically lower your mortgage interest rate and monthly payment into a fixed loan, without needing to refinance, regardless of credit, income, or equity. To help reduce the chance a recession in the U.S. economy, all lenders are mandated to work with homeowners to eliminate a majority of the U.S. mortgage problem. We have prenegotiated terms with the majority of all lenders, allowing you to take advantage of this today. Press one now to see if you qualify for this limited time offer. Or press two to speak with an account manager about being removed this calling list. None of our representatives can remove you from the calling list, so to speak with an account manager about being removed from this calling list, please press two. To hear more about this program, please press one."

My response before and after listening to the message in its entirety is fuck off.

Aug 4: Recording of "cardholder services" scam

Man's voice: "...cardholder services. Calling in reference to your current credit card account. Press two to be removed from our database. However, there are no problems with your account, but it is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility
for as little as forty to fifty cents on the dollar. And reduce your monthly payment by as much as fifty percent. Your eligibility could end shortly, so please consider this offer by pressing one now on your phone. And speaking to a live operator to substantially lower your monthly payment. Again, press the number one key to be connected to a representative. Thanks and have a great day."

Aug 2: Recording of Costa Rica and Orlando resort "vacation kiosk" at Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Wal-Mart, or Target scam

Woman's voice: "Hello. Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Wal-Mart, and even Target now have their summer displays up. Recently a friend or family member who visited one of these stores entered your name at the vacation kiosk, offering huge summer vacation package disounts. Congratulations. Your name was selected today to receive five days and four nights in beautiful Costa Rica. Also included today only are an additional three nights in sunny Orlando, Florida, and three nights in fabulous Daytona Beach. Press one now to hear all of the details. All of this for only ninety-nine dollars per person. Yes. Ninety-nine dollars per person. Take that vacation that you deserve now. Ten nights for only ninety-nine dollars per person. Press one now. If you would like to decline our offer, press three."

Aug 2: Recording of "please listen carefully" extended vehicle warranty scam

Woman's voice: "Please listen carefully to this important notice regarding your automobile. We recently mailed you a postcard to activate your extended warranty coverage. This courtesy call is your final notice that your vehicle will be reclassified and removed from our system, meaning the opportunity to activate your extended warranty coverage at a deeply discounted rate will be lost. To speak with an agent regarding your options before the deadline, please press one now. If you wish to permanently remove your vehicle from eligibility for future coverage, press three now."

Aug 1: Recording of "please listen carefully" extended vehicle warranty scam

Woman's voice: "Please listen carefully to this important notice regarding your automobile. We recently mailed you a postcard to activate your extended warranty coverage. This courtesy call is your final notice that your vehicle will be reclassified and removed from our system, meaning the opportunity to activate your extended warranty coverage at a deeply discounted rate will be lost. To speak with an agent regarding your options before the deadline, please press one now. If you wish to permanently remove your vehicle from eligibility for future coverage, press three now."

Aug 1: Recording of "Kelly" at "credit card services" scam

"Hi. This is Kelly at credit card services. I'm calling with an important announcement about your credit card account. This is our third attempt at reaching you. Our records indicate that you have been overpaying interest. Right now, we have you qualified to reduce your interest payment. To as low as two point nine percent. And cut your monthly payments in half. If you want to cut your monthly payment, lower your interest rate, and consolidate to one monthly payment, press one now. Again, this is your final chance to participate. So press one now. Or press three to be removed."