Apr 30: Recording "Kelly" at "credit card services" scam

"Hi. This is Kelly at credit card services. I'm calling with an important announcement about your credit card account. This is our third attempt at reaching you. Our records indicate that you have been overpaying interest. Right now, we have you qualified to reduce your interest payment. To as low as two point nine percent. And cut your monthly payments in half. If you want to cut your monthly payment, lower your interest rate, and consolidate to one monthly payment, press one now. Again, this is your final chance to participate. So press one now. Or press three to be removed."

Apr 29: Recording of "please listen carefully" extended vehicle warranty scam

Woman's voice: "Please listen carefully to this important notice regarding your automobile. We recently mailed you a postcard to activate your extended warranty coverage. This courtesy call is your final notice that your vehicle will be reclassified and removed from our system, meaning the opportunity to activate your extended warranty coverage at a deeply discounted rate will be lost. To speak with an agent regarding your options before the deadline, please press one now. If you wish to permanently remove your vehicle from eligibility for future coverage, press three now."

Apr 28: Recording of "James" with some garbled nonsense

Stoner guy's voice: "Hi this is James I reach from gypsum's... national contact service center... give us a call to discuss your current service... sales... collections... professor or retention projects at 888-636-0717. Thank you."

It was really hard to make anything out of what he was saying. It doesn't make any sense. He sounded like a stoner.

Apr 25: Recording of "Sam" with your "local telephone provider" scam

Man's voice: "Hi. This is Sam with your local telephone provider. Our records indicate you are due for a rate discount on your phone service. Our plan requires a high-speed internet connection. And is only nineteen ninety-five per month. This includes unlimited local and long-distance calls to anywhere, any time, in the U.S., Canada, and most countries, with no hidden fees. Press one now and your new monthly phone bill will be lowered to nineteen ninety-five per month. Again, if you have not recently upgraded and would like to cut your entire telephone bill to nineteen ninety-five a month, press the number one key to upgrade now. Or press three to be removed from our marketing list."

The unnamed "your local telephone provider" points to a scam. The bogus "our records indicate" indicates a scam.

Apr 25: Recording of scam from "Heather" at "account services"

"Hello. This is Heather at account services. And we're calling in reference to your current credit card account. There's no problems currently with your account. It is urgent however that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. To as little as six point nine percent. Your eligibility expires shortly. So please consider this your final notice. Please press one now on your phone to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press two to discontinue further notices. Thank you and have a great day."

Apr 24: Recording "Kelly" at "credit card services" scam

"Hi. This is Kelly at credit card services. I'm calling with an important announcement about your credit card account. This is our third attempt at reaching you. Our records indicate that you have been overpaying interest. Right now, we have you qualified to reduce your interest payment. To as low as two point nine percent. And cut your monthly payments in half. If you want to cut your monthly payment, lower your interest rate, and consolidate to one monthly payment, press one now. Again, this is your final chance to participate. So press one now. Or press three to be removed."

Apr 23: Recording of "Lisa Parker" with "credit card services" scam

"Hello. This is Lisa Parker with credit card services. This is an important message about your credit card account. We have attempted to contact you several times and have not been able to reach you. After reviewing your account, our records indicate that you are overpaying your interest payment. Right now, you are qualified to reduce your interest payment to as low as two point nine percent, and cut your monthly payments in half. If you would like to lower your interest rate and cut your monthly payment in half, press one now. Again, this is your final chance to accept this offer, so press one now. Or press three to be removed."

New voice. Same lies. Same scam.

Apr 23: Recording of "this announcement concerns your eligibility" "economic stimulus homeowners refinance mortgage program" scam

Man's voice: "This announcement concerns your eligibility for the government's economic stimulus homeowners refinance mortgage program. This program will help homeowners refinance their current mortgage, and will save hundreds of dollars each month by lowering their present interest rate. And help those homeowners that need to refinance get out of an adjustable and into a thirty year fixed."

Woman's voice: "Please note. This is a temporary program and is only available until the end of two thousand eight. So press one now to find out if you are eligible for the government's economic stimulus homeowners refinance mortgage program. These government home loans are federally insured, so they are regulated, which means they cost less than traditional home loans. And are designed for homeowners with good credit who need to refinance their current mortgage and lower their monthly payment."

Man's voice: "With these new guidelines, you may be eligible to refinance your existing mortgage and save money. Press one now to find out if you are eligible. Press three if you wish to be removed from our marketing list."

Apr 23: Recording of scam from "Heather" at "account services"

"Hello. This is Heather at account services. And we're calling in reference to your current credit card account. There's no problems currently with your account. It is urgent however that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. To as little as six point nine percent. Your eligibility expires shortly. So please consider this your final notice. Please press one now on your phone to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press two to discontinue further notices. Thank you and have a great day."

Apr 22: Recording of "public service message" from the "national health care association"

"This is a public service message from the national health care association. We have found a health care program for less than seven dollars a day. This complete medical benefits program is provided to you through our association, and coverage is provided by an A rated insurance company, which includes hospitalization coverage, surgical benefits, emergency room benefits, prescription benefits, no copay doctor visits, as well as many other valuable benefits for your family. Plus. People who call by the end of this week receive free term life insurance at no additional cost. Call 1-877-532-7168 to speak to a health care specialist today. We're the only plan that allows septims(?) regardless of preexisting conditions. All with no waiting period. Again, call 1-877-532-7168 to take advantage of this incredible offer today."

I can't tell what "...allows septims regardless..." actually was supposed to be, but that's approximately what it sounded like.

Apr 22: Recording of "annoying commercials" from "Dave" with an "authorized Dish Network dealer"

"Hi. This is Dave calling with an authorized Dish Network dealer in your area. I'll get right to the point. If you feel like you've been paying too much every month, and getting very little for your cable TV, I have a great deal for you. We will give you free satellite TV equipment and installation for up to four rooms with the lowest and best monthly price in the country. Sign up today and we'll also give you a free two room DVR system, which will allow you to skip those annoying commercials and never miss your favorite TV show again. Lower prices, better channels, and better service for you and your family. Press one to hear more."

"Hi. This is Dave calling with an authorized Dish Network dealer in your area. I'll get right to the point. If you feel like you've been paying too much every month, and getting very little for your cable TV, I have a great deal for you. We will give you free satellite TV equipment and installation for up to four rooms with the lowest and best monthly price in the country. Sign up today and we'll also give you a free two room DVR system, which will allow you to skip those annoying commercials and never miss your favorite TV show again. Lower prices, better channels, and better service for you and your family. Press one to hear more."

"Hi. This is Dave calling with an authorized Dish Network dealer in your area. I'll get right to the point. If you feel like you've been paying too much every month, and getting very little for your cable TV, I have a great deal for you. We will give you free satellite TV equipment and installation for up to four rooms with the lowest and best monthly price in the country. Sign up today and we'll also give you a free two room DVR system, which will allow you to skip those annoying commercials and never miss your favorite TV show again. Lower prices, better channels, and better service for you..."

The recording got cut off by the answering machine limit.

Apr 21: Recording of "Lisa" with the "satellite TV company" scam

"Hi. This is Lisa with the satellite TV company. With an offer that is almost too good to be true. For today only, we are waiving the fifty dollar enrollment fee for activation. That means you get free installation, free receivers, and remotes for up to four rooms, a free high-definition DVR and free activation. No other satellite company can match this offer. If you have been waiting for the deal of a lifetime, this is it. We'll also give you three months of free programming. So with no obligation, press one to get connected to an approval specialist. Because I am confident we can save you money and improve the way you watch TV. Give us a chance, press one now."

Apr 21: Recording of scam from "Heather" at "account services"

"Hello. This is Heather at account services. And we're calling in reference to your current credit card account. There's no problems currently with your account. It is urgent however that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. To as little as six point nine percent. Your eligibility expires shortly. So please consider this your final notice. Please press one now on your phone to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press two to discontinue further notices. Thank you and have a great day."

Apr 18: Recording of scam from the "advocacy for manageable health care"

"This is a public service message from the advocacy for manageable health care. We have found a health care program for less than one hundred dollars per month. To receive this important information for you and your family, please press one now. Again, to receive this important information about a health care program for less than three dollars per day, including doctor visits and a prescription discount card, press the number one on your telephone now. Or if you'd like to be removed from our call list, press two. Thank you and have a great day."

The "or if you'd like to be removed from our call list" sounded spliced in.

Apr 16: Recording of "this is the second notice" vehicle warranty scam

Man's voice: "This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle may have expired and should be reactivated to protect you against the cost of repairs. If you have not responded to this notification, it's not too late. Please don't make the mistake of driving without a warranty. You are still eligible to reactivate warranty coverage. This is the final call before we close the file. Press two to be removed from the follow-up list. Or press one to speak with a representative now about your vehicle."

A very similar recording with minor changes in wording called a month earlier. Sounds like a scam.

Apr 14: Recording of "this is your captain speaking" scam

"Hello. This is your captain speaking. You will receive two free boarding passes for an all-inclusive cruise to Nassau, Bahamas in exchange for your answers to ten questions. This is a public opinion poll. The process is automated. Just press the keys on your telephone keypad for your answers. You will receive two free boarding passes for an all-inclusive cruise to Nassau, Bahamas when you're finished. This process only takes a minute. Press one to start the automated survey and receive two complimentary cruise passes."

"Don't miss the boat. Press one now."

There were a bunch of stupid sound effects interspersed throughout the recording. There were also a number of beeps that seemed designed to fuck with answering machines.

See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmFznHPfy8k for more on these asshats.

Apr 14: Recording of "please listen carefully" extended vehicle warranty scam

Woman's voice: "Please listen carefully. This is an important notice regarding your automobile. We recently mailed you a postcard to activate your extended warranty coverage. This courtesy call is your final notice that your vehicle will be removed from our system. This means the opportunity to activate your extended warranty coverage at deeply discounted rates will be lost. To speak with an agent regarding your options before the deadline, please press one now. If you wish to permanently remove your vehicle from eligibility for future coverage, press three now."

The wording is identical to the scam with the man's voice.

Apr 10: Recording of automotive warranty scam

Woman's voice: "This is an important message regarding your automotive warranty. We have made several attempts to reach you. This is your final courtesy call before your vehicle is reclassified. Press one to speak to a warranty specialist or press two and your file will be automatically be closed."

Apr 10: Recording "Kelly" at "credit card services" scam

"Hi. This is Kelly at credit card services. I'm calling with an important announcement about your credit card account. This is our third attempt at reaching you. Our records indicate that you have been overpaying interest. Right now, we have you qualified to reduce your interest payment. To as low as two point nine percent. And cut your monthly payments in half. If you want to cut your monthly payment, lower your interest rate, and consolidate to one monthly payment, press one now. Again, this is your final chance to participate. So press one now. Or press three to be removed."

Calling my answering machine with an identical recording multiple times, including two consecutive days = scam.

Apr 10: Recording of "public service message" from the "national health care association"

"This is a public service message from the national health care association. We have found a health care program for less than seven dollars a day. This complete medical benefits program is provided to you through our association, and coverage is provided by an A rated insurance company, which includes hospitalization coverage, surgical benefits, emergency room benefits, prescription benefits, no copay doctor visits, as well as many other valuable benefits for your family. Plus. People who call by the end of this week receive free term life insurance at no additional cost. Call 1-877-532-7168 to speak to a health care specialist today. We're the only plan that allows septims(?) regardless of preexisting conditions. All with no waiting period. Again, call 1-877-532-7168 to take advantage of this incredible offer today."

I can't tell what "...allows septims regardless..." actually was supposed to be, but that's approximately what it sounded like.

They cite an anonymous "A rated insurance company", which seems pretty fishy. Seven dollars a day is over twenty-five hundred dollars a year. Perhaps the seven dollars is to make it harder to compare to other health plans and twenty-five hundred dollars isn't very good compared to other health plans. That's also a pretty fishy tactic.

It looks like the same phone number is used to advertise for "aggressive sales professionals" at a San Diego call center. So, if you call 1-877-532-7168, how can they tell if you are interested in being scammed by their "medical benefits program", or if you are interested in a humanity-draining call-center job scamming people?

Apr 9: Recording of "Amy" with mortgage scam

"Hi. This is Amy. You may be unaware that the feds have again dropped rates in order to help alleviate the mortgage crisis. The U.S. department of housing and urban development is offering government-insured loans through FHA with competitive interest rates that are easy to qualify for. In addition, Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac, congressionally chartered institutions, have also taken action. These institutions are offering thirty year, fixed rate mortgages without prepayment penalties that will give you and your family long-term security. Because of the government's effort, interest rates have not been this low since two thousand five. Press one now to be connected to a select cluss(?) representative to learn more about these programs. Press nine to be placed on our do-not-call list. Again, press one now to hear how you can take advantage of these government-sponsored programs."

I have no idea what "...select cluss representative..." was supposed to be. That's what it sounded approximately like.

Anyhow, pressing one to talk to some kind of "select" something-or-other representative of some unnamed organization sounds like a scam.

Apr 9: Recording "Kelly" at "credit card services" scam

"Hi. This is Kelly at credit card services. I'm calling with an important announcement about your credit card account. This is our third attempt at reaching you. Our records indicate that you have been overpaying interest. Right now, we have you qualified to reduce your interest payment. To as low as two point nine percent. And cut your monthly payments in half. If you want to cut your monthly payment, lower your interest rate, and consolidate to one monthly payment, press one now. Again, this is your final chance to participate. So press one now. Or press three to be removed."

"third attempt" and "final chance" = lies. lies = scam.

Apr 9: Recording of Costa Rica and Orlando resort "vacation kiosk" at Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Wal-Mart, or Target scam

Woman's voice: "Hello. Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Wal-Mart, and even Target now have their spring displays up. Recently a friend or family member who visited one of these stores entered your name at the vacation kiosk. For a chance to receive twenty-six hundred dollars towards a fabulous all-inclusive resort vacation. Congratulations. Your name was selected today to receive twenty-six hundred dollars towards a fabulous five day all-inclusive vacation to beautiful Costa Rica. Followed by an exciting six day Orlando Florida vacation to Walt Disney World. Including theme park tickets or rental car. Your accommodation for up to four people beer(?) our exclusive beach-side resort and casino. While you are our guests, you will enjoy all-you-can-eat meals, beer, wine, alcohol, along with touring the volcanos, rain forests, and the incredible white sandy beaches. Press two now to receive your twenty-six hundred dollars towards this all-inclusive vacation. Don't miss out. Imagine you and your family enjoying free food and drink, sport fishing, snorkeling, horseback riding, plus the breath-taking wildlife Costa Rica is famous for. Press two now to enjoy all of this with your twenty-six hundred dollars towards this all-inclusive resort vacation."

I very much doubt that a friend or family member entered my name at any "vacation kiosk". That sounds like a lie and this sounds like a scam.

The "...up to four people beer our exclusive..." doesn't make sense, but that's what it sounded approximately like. Perhaps something was spliced in or out at the "beer".

Apr 8: Recording of "Bill Bennett" from the "Las Vegas Vacation Authority" scam

"Hi. This is Bill Bennett from the Las Vegas Vacation Authority. I have a free Las Vegas vacation for couples waiting for you. Press one now for details and I'll throw in two free show tickets with your complimentary vacation. Go ahead. Press one now for your free Vegas vacation."

Apr 7: Recording of scam from "Jonathan" with "consumer services"

"Hello this is Jonathan with consumer services calling in reference to your current credit card account. There's no problem with your account at this time. But it is urgent that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. Your eligibility expires shortly, so please consider this your final notice. Please press one now to speak to one of our representatives. Or press two to be removed. Thank you."

"expires shortly"? "final notice"? This recording first called over a year ago and has called a half dozen times in 2007. All these lies indicate a scam.

Apr 7: Recording of "Tom" from the "National Debt Bureau" (or "National Cadet Bureau") scam

"Hi. This is Tom from the national cadet bureau. According to our records, you owe more than ten thousand on your credit cards and medical bills. We have a program that can help you eliminate all of debt completely in a period of one to five years. With the help of this program, you will save at least forty-five cents on every dollar that you have already spent. And you can pay off the remaining balance in easy monthly installments. So press one now to speak to one of our debt specialists. Once again, press one now if you would like to eliminate your debt. Or press two to be removed from our database. Thanks and have a great day."

It sounded like he said he was "Tom" from the "National Cadet Bureau", but I'm guessing "debt bureau" would make more sense. I don't know why they put my phone number on their sucker list or where their erroneous "records" saying I owe over ten thousand on credit cards and medical bills come from. Based on other scams, they probably only have a sucker list and no real records of actual debt.

Apr 5: Recording of "annoying commercials" from "Dave" with an "authorized Dish Network dealer"

"Hi. This is Dave calling with an authorized Dish Network dealer in your area. I'll get right to the point. If you feel like you've been paying too much every month, and getting very little from your cable TV, I have a great deal for you. We will give you free satellite TV equipment and installation for up to four rooms with the lowest and best monthly price in the country. Sign up today and we'll also give you a free two room DVR system, which will allow you to skip those annoying commercials and never miss your favorite TV show again. Lower prices, better channels, and better service for you and your family. Press one to hear more."

"Hi. This is Dave calling with an authorized Dish Network dealer in your area. I'll get right to the point. If you feel like you've been paying too much every month, and getting very little from your cable TV, I have a great deal for you. We will give you free satellite TV equipment and installation for up to four rooms with the lowest and best monthly price in the country. Sign up today and we'll also give you a free two room DVR system, which will allow you to skip those annoying commercials and never miss your favorite TV show again. Lower prices, better channels, and better service for you and your family. Press one to hear more."

"Hi. This is Dave calling with an authorized Dish Network dealer in your area. I'll get right to the point. If you feel like you've been paying too much every month, and getting very little from your cable TV, I have a great deal for you. We will give you free satellite TV equipment and installation for up to four rooms with the lowest and best monthly price in the country. Sign up today and we'll also give you a free two room DVR system, which will allow you to skip those annoying commercials and never miss your favorite TV show again. Lower prices, better channels, and better service for you and..."

Apr 5: Recording of "please listen carefully" extended vehicle warranty scam

Man's voice: "Please listen carefully. This is an important notice regarding your automobile. We recently mailed you a postcard to activate your extended warranty coverage. This courtesy call is your final notice that your vehicle will be removed from our system. This means the opportunity to activate your extended warranty coverage at deeply discounted rates will be lost. To speak with an agent regarding your options before the deadline, please press one now. If you wish to permanently remove your vehicle from eligibility for future coverage, press three now."

Apr 3: Recording of automotive warranty scam

Woman's voice: "This is an important message regarding your automotive warranty. We have made several attempts to reach you. This is your final courtesy call before your vehicle is reclassified. Press one to speak to a warranty specialist or press two and your file will be automatically be closed."